June 10, 2014 at 5:27 pm #13727
I would request your help with my emotional disturbance caused by my mother in law.
I am software engineer and married to IT professional. their family is financially less compared to mine. When i got married i was earning and my in laws treated me with respect and love. After marriage my husband travelled abroad and i joined him after 6 months till when i was working. I become pregnent and due to unavoidable reasons my mother couldn’t travel to my place for delivery.
I had to call my mother in law and my father in law couldn’t join her and there started my headache . After she came to my place there were so much changes in her seeing her son taking care of me. She ill treated me by words , hurting daily , she wouldn’t let my husband spend time with me. She didn’t take care of me though i had c section. I faced worst days of my life ( being only daughter i was princess at home) with my MIL. My husband slowely saw change in her attidude and started asking her or scolding her when she hurts me. But one day she took my husband out and spoke for three hours and from then slowely she started taking him out alone, me being alone at home with my one month baby. Slowely my husband was kind of changed towards his mom, caring for her, showing her more affection . He cudn’t take care of me as his mother was creating problems and he was stuck between us. I become more psychologically ill bcoz of her ill treatement. Then she left to india and there onwards i started hating her and showing anger to my husband.
Even in chats n phones she avoids me and talks so affectionate to her son and grand child. I cud clearly see it as action.
Then my fate played a role and we shifted to india and had to stay with my inlaws. Now her behavior changed so worst and she started poking in every issue of us and when me and my husband are alone in a room, immediately she walks in. she does all activites to seperate me and my kid & also me and my husband.
My another problem is she keeps cribbing about me to my my FIL and husband. Also she is staying physically close with my husband like hugging him, lying on bed hugging him, always touching him, lying on his lap in front of me. If my husband keeps some food for me which i like immediately she takes it and eat from his plate before i could.
My husband knowing all these, accepts his mom’s mistakes but not willing to go alone. These problems are never ending and i couldn’t convience to move out. all he says we will wait for sometime n get a chance we will move away.He travels so long distance to office jus to stay with his parents and feels he cudn’t spend time with me and kid.
My FIL is retired and they have so much debt so they are in need of money. My MIL wants her son to stay close mainly bcoz of money and my husband is aware of this.
But emotionally i am growing so down and health is impacted with my MIL’s cheap behavior. how should i tell her to stop poking n disturbing my life ?
Please help on how should i deal with her and how to convience my husband.
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