need help

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    This feels awkward. I didn’t think I would ever need help like this. OK…I have…I was in a relationship for the past eight years. We were high school sweet hearts. And we were, or at least I was thinking of marrying the jerk. One day he just calls me up late at night and tells me that he has been dating another girl for the past eight years as well. Now as any normal person I screamed fought yelled and hurled abuses. Now he tells me he loves us both but he loves her more. If that’s even possible. As days pass, I move from..I don’t wanna be with you…to please be with me. This goes on for about a month. At first he tells me he’s going to stay with me, but that he loves her. Then the scene shifts to…I’ll be a dummy if I stay with you. I can’t live without her. And then one fine day…he finally severed it all. In the whole month, he emotionally tortured me as much as he could, saying things he knew wouldf hurt me. An important point. Why he came up and told me out of the blue, because the other girl had found something suspicious and they had fought. She had told him that she would find me and confront me. Now at that point if time she still didn’t know. After he sort of dumped me.*sigh, I know how pathetic that is*. I receive this call one day. Turns out its that girl who tracked me down. Now the drama begins. We become best buddies and it sort of comforts me to talk to her. But now I look back I think I talked to her because she was a lunk between me and him. We confront him together, blow his fuse. And this girl continues talking to me, pretends to be helping me and pretends to be my friend and goes and sleeps with him. Then breaks up with him again. He cones and tells me. Loads of drama, fighting name calling. I move back and try to get rid myself f them. Some days after I start receiving her calls again. She begs me to give her a chance that she was very confused with everything. I..stupid..idiotic me…gives her another chance. She tortures me a n her own style by giving me all the gory details of their lives together. A day comes and I say enough is enough. I block her. And the next day she calls me and tells me she went and slept with him again. Now they both take me on conference. He threatens to come marching to my door if I keep the phone down, and while I am forced to listen they fight and discuss their sex life. Now m tortured beyond measure. I finally slam the phone. And I block them all. Its been 20 days and for some insane reason I miss him. I want to beg him to come back. And I am getting a little suicidal. I need help. I can’t sort it out myself. My friends tell me itpartially my mistake. I just feel so lost and lonely. I am going insane. It feels heavy all the time. I don’t know where to go or what to do.

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