This topic contains 1 reply, has 2 voices, and was last updated by  varshasingh06 3 years, 2 months ago.

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  • #13785

    khbhanda
    Participant

    I have been married a little over two years now. I was dating my husband for about 5 years before we tied the knot.

    I recently had a baby who is now 9 months old and this was totally unplanned.

    We are just two of us now, taking care of her.. Maid is a total no no cos we both work and she is left unmonitored.

    I have sent her to day care for a few hours while i am at work.. However i continue to do all the household chores plus take care of the baby plus office work..

    This is crazy.. I have been living with severe back pain and lack of sleep. Maybe thats motherhood..

    I got married against the wish of my parents and now i have no where to go.. I am totally frustrated cos its like I am single mother trying to do everything for my daughter.

    I have stopped socializing cos we are the only one with a Baby in the circle.

    My husband does not help one bit…be it changing diapers/ putting her to sleep, administering medication to my daughter.. absolutely nothing

    I have now become so rigid in my heart that nothing seems to make me cry now.. I guess it is just the mental strength that i keeping me going..

    let me know how you guys can help here.

    #15507

    varshasingh06
    Participant

    Hey hi
    I am not sure if I can help. I am mother of one and he is 14 months now. I remained with my parents for first 3 mnths post delivery and then returned to my husband. I quit my job as there is no one else to take care of my kid. Trust me being non working is good but only for a month or so and then you start feeling worthless. So your good point is that you have a job.
    It takes time for a father to sink in fatherhood, to understand responsibility and to share liability. He will never come to know what all are his responsibilities as a father and a partner in parenthood. This happens normally with every man. The best is that you try to make him realise. Discuss things with him. Divide your work and talk to him about this. Also divide baby sitting so that he knows when he is suppose to be with child. See he has seen you doing everything at your own for 9 months so now he feels you are capable of handling it. You have to share this with him that how difficult it is for you to manage and how much you need hus help. Talk to him to find out solutions best suited for two of you. Don’t get upset or disappointed. It is natural and happens with everyone. All you need is to talk your heart out with your husband. And planned or unplanned but now the child is responsibility of both parents not of any single one. Lack of sleep is matter of few more months. But don’t create this a habit of handling everything alone.. you have to make your man realise that what it takes to be a father and don’t worry he would understand you. Just be patient with him and with yourself. Good luck. Let me know if it worked

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