need help

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    My name is Mehr-un-Nissa Azad Kamaluddin. I am 27 years old and I live in Lahore, Pakistan.

    I was born into an aristocratic and a very well known family in Lahore. I got married at the age of 19 into a noble family to a nawabzada who was the most loving and caring man I have yet to come across. We were considered to be the best looking couple by everyone we knew and he was my pillar of strength, especially because I spent the most formative years of my life with him. Although our marriage started out as a fairytale, but then the reality of the circumstances that lay ahead of us completely destroyed our marriage.

    During my marriage, I had 5 miscarriages and the last one resulted in profuse, uncontrollable bleeding, because of which I had to undergo surgical removal of my uterus (rendering me unable to conceive a child ever again). My health took a landslide, because of which I was unable to attend university for a year. At the end of that year, my father-in-law passed away and my mother-in-law went into severe depression and found solace in her addiction to narcotic pain killers. While I was trying to help my mother-in-law cope with her depression, I discovered that my husband was having an affair with another woman. The ridiculous justification that he provided me with consisted of the fact that he wanted an heir and he meant no disrespect to me. I packed my bags and walked out the moment I found this out.

    This incident took place 5 years ago. I never maintained any contact with him despite his numerous attempts at staging a reconciliation. I have maintained a good relationship with my mother-in-law (as my husband and I never got divorced), and lately my mother in law has been insisting that I return to their house and give my marriage another shot. My husband has a son as a result of that affair and he has persistently tried to show me that he has realized how immature it was of him to selfishly disregard our marriage in this manner. There are absolutely no societal or social pressures on me to return to my husband, although I am still regarded as being the “begum” to the nawab (as farcical as sounds in today’s day and age). I’m a 27 year old, career driven girl and I have chosen this life for myself. The circumstances that I’m dealing with today have forced me to reconsider my decision. I can continue living this uncomplicated and drama-free life or I can go back only to try to forgive my husband and become a mother to his son (as I obviously cannot conceive as a child).

    I’ve spent the past 5 years completely absorbed in my career, but is this kind of a life sufficient for happiness? I don’t know and I don’t know who to ask for help.

    Please help me

    Thank you

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