This topic contains 2 replies, has 3 voices, and was last updated by  asj_sj 4 years, 7 months ago.

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  • #13260

    Akilas
    Participant

    Hi,

    My daughter has always been afraid of anyone outside the household. She feels so shy before them and does not return a word or conversation with them. Sometimes it includes not only strangers but even people/relatives whom she has seen and spent time more than once.

    She is usually very very adamant. And has very poor eating habits. She refuses to eat the food that her school provides. Her school has asked me to pack lunch and breakfast for her as she is not taking it at school.

    Whenever she has to get ready to school, she throws a tantrum and makes a fuss starting from brushing until she gets ready to school. I had enquired at her school, except for the eating habits, they tell me that she is normal and good at school.

    Her grades have never even been average. She talks quite intelligently and likes to know more on new subjects. Writes and reads well.

    Most importantly, I am a single parent, and have been since she was 3 years old.

    I would like to know why she feel so shy in front of other people. While kids of her age are so normally social. Of late she has become very very adamant and complains that she has stomach ache or something to stop from school. She has put the same drama and has retained herself from her dance classes also. She is 200% lazy. lazy to even have her own food or brush her teeth.

    Kindly let me know, if I should take her for some therapy. At this point, it is becoming very critical because of her tantrums….

    Thanks,
    Akila

    #15226

    Prachi
    Participant
    Akilas wrote:
    Hi,

    My daughter has always been afraid of anyone outside the household. She feels so shy before them and does not return a word or conversation with them. Sometimes it includes not only strangers but even people/relatives whom she has seen and spent time more than once.

    Dear Akila,
    It seems that your daughter is silently crying out for attention and help. The fact that she seems to be ‘normal’ at school and difficult at home makes it even clearer for me that she wants YOUR attention particularly. May be there’s something that’s bothering her and this is how she is requesting. This is what children usually do. I would suggest you keep her home from school for a couple of days and you stay with her too (I assume you work, so I suppose you’ll have to take leave). Don’t try to ask her directly what’s bothering her because she won’t be able to tell you. Try and strengthen your rapport with her. Do her favorite things together (like visiting the zoo, or any outdoor activity she prefers but not malls or toy stores). It has to be an activity that takes you outdoors and gives you quality time together.

    Once you two are comfortable and her mood seems to have improved, ask her to make a few drawings about her life at present. Children’s drawings can tell us much more than we can imagine. I’m sure you’ll see some clues there. Look for how she draws her peers, her family, where she places herself in the pictures – alone or with others, does she draw other significant ppl etc. Also keep an eye on when she’s playing alone with her toys. You may see some hints in the interaction she portrays.

    I hope all this helps. Try and avid considering her behavior as ‘drama’ because this is all children know how to express their feelings. There is something definitely bothering her. Let’s find out what and your child will be as happy as anyone else :)
    If you need help interpreting her drawings, let me know and we can work something out.

    Take care,

    #15247

    asj_sj
    Participant

    hi,

    my name is Alma and im an indian med student. i have a problem with lying which i recently realized cz i am unable to speak to my therapist properly. i keep altering my stories cz im scared of what she might think abt me. im lazy n smtimes i don’t do what she asks me to do like keep a diary and i just dont know anymore.. i’ve been lying and i know that its not helping me. i dont know what to do.. i don’t know.. i’m so confused. myu recent problem is about money n im scared to discuss it with her. i’m 21 and i still need an allowance from my parents n i feel like that too much to ask of them cz my dad’s 60 and i feel like a burden. i want to earn and i’ve been looking for jobs that won’t affect my study life and this morning i came up with a brilliant idea of working at a fast food joint out here, but then again i’m scared people might judge me and i don’t want people to know i have money issues.. i dont know what to do. there aren’t many job opportunities here. i live in sawangi in wardha maharashtra and i need some advice

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