This topic contains 2 replies, has 3 voices, and was last updated by  Renju 1 year, 11 months ago.

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  • #18906

    Shalvi Shah
    Participant

    I need help coping up with life and struggling to fit into so called society.i am 29 yrs old love inter cast marriage for 4 years.no problem as such with my marriage. Yes financially we aren’t stable yet..we both with same profession(architect) and im not able to succeed in it well as my husband has all the capacity to do well for himself but he doesn’t. i am staying with my in-laws for 2 months now and its difficult for me to keep up to their expectations..i do not have a job and so i have to do as their wish for which i am not ready..me and my husband has just started our own company but it seems here i cannot work as he does..somehow i feel the restrictions. my parents keep on giving me advice and and constantly telling me to do things to keep my in laws happy. I cannot. i cannot fake it..i am not a family type of a girl and needs freedom..my Father in law constantly and continuously keeps on giving advice to my husband all the time and i feel this might suppress his own thoughts..He interferes toooo much..I do not like it.I keep on fighting with my husband because we haven’t yet settled after 4 years of our marriage..and then the pressure for a baby disturbs me too much..we aren’t financially set and why don’t my mother in law understand this? i want to work and travel..i haven’t yet done anything in my life..i do not want the burden of a baby now.Nothing achieved yet..have wasted many years of my life..and so just wants to end my life.please help

    #18907

    Swarup
    Participant

    Hi sister, why do u think that u don’t have any life in future….? I can understand that u have struggled for some time but the thing u should know , that nobody have perfect life in the world. So what makes u to think that u have Wasted ur life…..? U has to know that u have many gifts in life that even many even cannot got that. Your life is very precious , i know that till now u have helped many so u r not wasted ur life sister. Thats because of some forces u r thinking like that. So don’t get any depression about others. Financially today u may struggle but time will not be the same forever….

    #18957

    Renju
    Participant

    Hi Shalvi 🙂 First of all, show me one person you know who is leading a perfect life. There are no one. Everyone is struggling in their own ways. Many of them keep a happy face in the society and we get deceived thinking their life must be wonderful. Imagine you have a stone in your hand. You keep thinking this is the biggest stone you have ever seen, until you find a rock. Sometimes, we think our problems are the biggest problem in the world. But look around. We are living in a world where countries exist where people have no freedom, children and women get sexually abused, people starve. I am not saying your problem is not important. But sometimes when you look at these bigger problems, it will help you see your problems from another perspective. You get a feeling that, it is something that you can handle.

    It is completely okay that you haven’t done anything in your life so far. But if you keep complaining about it for another 30 years, you will be standing in that same place. Don’t let that happen to you. So understand what you want to do in your life, and start working towards it.

    About parents… When they see their children struggling they get worried and as the very next step they try to advice, even if they are not an expert in the field. More loving they are, more interfering they will be, whether children like it or not. Don’t hate them. Once they get a feeling that you and your husband is taking the right decisions for your future, they will stop feeling worried.

    All these are easy to say. You will have to be stay patient and work hard. Finally one more thing.. Don’t die 🙂

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