Need help: stuck between mom and wife

This topic contains 2 replies, has 3 voices, and was last updated by  zulfia 2 years, 10 months ago.

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    I have been happily married for more than 10 years now and have 2 wonderful kids. It was a love marriage against my parent’s wishes and I had to leave them to get married.over the period of time, my parents accepted her and my mom is staying with me for 5 years now after my dad’s death.

    My wife is a nice woman otherwise and she connected very well with my mom in the beginning. But slowly, the differences started to occur. I don’t know what went wrong but believe that both parties erred. 2 weeks back, my wife spoke very very rudely with my mom. I tried to make her understand that it was a wrong behavior and she should have handled the topic more politely and calmly. She fails to understand her mistake. My mom is obviously hurt with the words and does not wish to live with us anymore. I am really worried for her now and don’t want her to take it on ego at this age and live alone. I know for a fact that if she goes now, she will never come back.
    I don’t know how to convince my wife to start thinking calmly and reacting after thinking through. Another problem with her is that she never says sorry even when she realizes her mistakes. Every time we had a fight in the past, I was the one who goes to her first and tries to mend ways. She never ever feels the need to come to me and patch up.

    I am going on a vacation with her for next 5 days as its our wedding anniversary. I plan to open this topic and try and make her understand her error. Don’t know how to go about it. Feels like I still don’t know her as a person. Can somebody help me with how to go about this conversation? Thanks in advance.



    Hi Ashish, it will happen commenly in many houses, So don’t worry. And also happen when u do a love marriage against ur family because they don’t have understandings even with arrage mariages then how ur mother and wife can unsterstand themself quickly? I think it is one of the reason. One thing how can u say that u don’t know ur wife as a person, as u spent 10 years with her…
    Its ok now u need to understand ur wife that to be calm with ur mother as she is alone now u has to take care of her. They need some time to understand themself so give time for them and wait for sometime everything will be alright..



    Hi Ashish ,

    Like most men you are stuck between two most important women in your life, It does get difficult at times. However , between your two precious ladies the common factor is YOU , therefore, you have to handle things in a very matured and sensible way , without hurting any one of them nor making the other feel left out.
    Give equal love and attention to both and LISTEN to both of them without getting yourself completely involved in their matter or making it a very serious matter . Explain the good points of each other to each other , try and involve them into doing something which will keep them very busy , probably your mother can join a group or do some social service type. Its very good that you are going on a holiday , I would advice that you’ll should just enjoy and have loads of fun , better to keep discussion on this matter for some other time. This holiday just concentrate on have an amazing time.

    All the best

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