This topic contains 3 replies, has 2 voices, and was last updated by  Swarup 2 years, 7 months ago.

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  • #13894
    Profile photo of stuckand hopeless
    stuckand hopeless
    Participant

    i cant stop crying and yet i control…i keep controlling and acting like evrything is fine. but its not. i am geting panic attacks and i cant sleep properly.i just want to cry all the tym. i am good at hiding it because my parents dont understand. they dont listen to me. i am irritated and angry all the time and my parents dont do anything to help. which is fine but they just make it worse whicch i cant bear. the last time i told them i was so depressed that i wanted to die they called me ungrateful and selfish because they did so much for me and i cant even stay happy. i am depressed and for as long as i know i have been the same. i reached out to them even when i was 15 i got the same reaction. i m 25 now and i still get the same response. and now its even worse because the last tym i told them that i was having dying thoughts because i cant take it anymore they just got angry because my brother stood up for me and made me promise that i would never talk about depression or dying again. that was the last tym i said anything. they want me to get married. i dont want to right now. i am living with my parents not out of choice but compulsion. and i have to stay in saudi arabia because thats where they stay right now. this country and environment suppresses u and makes u become an invalid specially if u are girl. its definitely not helping my depression. i want to go to india and stay but my parents wont allow me to stay alone and work. even though i was born and brought up in this country the freedom i experienced during graduation studies in india makes me weep when i stay in saudi. my parents dont understand this. they call me ungrateful again. i am a dentist by the way. but useless right now. because my parents wont let me study post graduation. because they cant find a guy who is educated enough it seems. total bullshit by the way. they want me to work in this country. but i want to teach dentistry and its better if i have a post grad for that. i have tried explaining protesting and everything else to make them understand. they just dont listen nor do they undertsand. i have completely lost it. i am depressed suppressed and opressed and on top of this my parents are continuosly critiscing me to make me a good wife material and teach me patience and calmness when they themselves are soo screwed up. both of them over authoritative and dominative and always irritated and screaming at themselves and others. but they want me to be calm and kind to them and be patient with them because they are old and i am young and it is my duty to be nice to them it seems even when they are unreasonable. its crazy and their criticism to make me a wife mateial is just too much… i cant bear this and i keep yelling wheneevr they irritate me and they just scream at me again for being so selfish and mean. i dont know what to do. i am losing my head and havent even smiled in a long time from my heart. i am soo tired acting to just put up a good face when i am dying inside for people who i care but who dont even try to understand. i am exhausted and wish a comet falls on my head and die…

    #15678

    Swarup
    Participant

    hi sister when u able to give solution for others problem then why do u don’t getting the things yourself. Ya it may be difficult for u to stay in in dubai then you can make realise your parents that you can live happily in other place. As you want to study more in india then why your parents don’t allowing you to come here ?

    #15681
    Profile photo of stuckand hopeless
    stuckand hopeless
    Participant
    swarup raj wrote:
    hi sister when u able to give solution for others problem then why do u don’t getting the things yourself. Ya it may be difficult for u to stay in in dubai then you can make realise your parents that you can live happily in other place. As you want to study more in india then why your parents don’t allowing you to come here ?

    because its easier to fight the world than it is to fight with your own parents whom you love and respect. it hurts more when the very people who bring you up and give you evrything are against you. being understood by own family is very important and in my case its not there and that breaks my heart.

    #15682

    Swarup
    Participant

    When your family so loves you then they will definitely allow you for post studies , they don’t want to live far from you because they are already suffered from it. You can make any one to come with u to India till your study ends…

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