December 21, 2013 at 11:49 am #13542
I am a 26 year old female working in an IT MNC in Delhi-NCR.
The current project I am working on has a team of four people including me.
There are two male colleagues and one female colleague.
Of these three persons, there is one who is a junior to me in terms of experience but since the beginning when I joined this team I have become a victim of constant criticism, bullying and harassment. Let me throw some light on how I am feeling harassed.
Since the beginning, this male colleague tries to show me as a non performer.. Always uses words like “Apko senior engg kaise bana diya.. Aap to kuchh zyada hi ghabrate ho.. aapko kuchh nahi aata…” In addition to this, he also always uses words like “tere daant tod dene hai maine.. Bhenjiyo se dosti kar rakkhi hai.. And apni female friends se dosti karade..”
Not only this.. He always tries to snatch the credit for my work.
For instance, we sometimes have to work together on some project related tasks.. He says that we will create the report together on completing the task but when I approach him for the same, He says I have already done that. Which means I didn’t do anything at all which is obviously not true!!!
My Team lead is completely aware of all this but he is of no help.
Guess what.. just yesterday.. he was continuously saying.. tere daant tod dunga.. So I said (in a light tone so that I don’t sound angry but the message goes clearly to him) ” Don’t use this kind of word for me otherwise I can also hit you.. ” To this he said” kam se kam you will touch me”. He always stares at me from head to toe in such a manner that I feel ashamed of my body.. By the way.. I am extremely overweight and am already depressed and underconfident about my personality however I am aware that I am good in my communication skills and a hard-worker and try to deliver good results at my workplace.
When I complained to my leader which I have done almost 4 times.. he says.. “aap log jhagda mat kiya karo and mai kya bol sakta hu… (and with a mocking tone) aap bas hath hila diya karo.. ye ud jayega” (commenting at my body weight). This kind of mockery peirces through my mind and makes me feel extremely sad and disturbed. I never comment anyone on their weaknesses to make them feel ashamed or embarrassed. And I don’t think that this should be done at a workplace where professionalism is the most sought after trait!!! What do you think??
Still I was bearing all this and ignoring them as my work was good enough and I was also getting recognized.
But suddenly, this third female employee joined our team and now her activities are playing havoc in my life.
In the month of September, I was suffering from Dengue and had to take a week’s leave from office as the doctor suggested me complete rest.
In that week’s time, everything changed..
This girl became the most important member of the team with all the project knowledge. Now when I joined back.. Obviously I was still weak but i didn’t want to skip my work.
What this girl used to do now is when I would be doing my work, she would continuously disturb me and keep me engaged in discussions which were obviously work related.
In the client calls.. She would not let me speak and take my LAN connection to connect her laptop and do things that would hamper me from being attentive and active in the client call.
She started sending status mails and assigning work to us (me and that bully male junior). She would deliberately give less work to me so that my Team leader thinks I am the one who is avoiding responsibilities but actually it was nothing like that.
Then came the climax!!
Suddenly, one day my team leader called me for a one to one meeting and said that i was not performing well. Can you beat that!! I have joined after suffering from an illness and suddenly I become the non-performer.
When I asked him about my faults so that I could correct them he was like you don’t have knowledge as compared to the other female employee. I tried to convince him that it is not like that and i will definitely bounce back. But his negativity towards me remains till date..
That girl was aware that I had been scolded.
Then the same day, in a discussion with that girl, she told me she thought my team leader was biased toward me as he was always praising my work and that it didn’t go down well with her.
That time I realized that she was doing all this not only to prove herself as the performer but also to show me as the one who is not so good for the team.
Since that time I have been struggling to get my worthiness back in the team but to no avail as there are now two bullies who are completely after me.
Sometimes I feel that let them do whatever they want and I will do my work.
But there are days when their cunning habits just engulf all my effectiveness and at the end of the day my work goes unrecognized.
Take the example of last week.
My lead was on a week’s vacation and we had to handle the entire work and the client calls which happen everyday.
I did most of the work handling and client handling.. not only that.. i also worked pulling the whole team together as a whole so that there were no disputes and our project does not get affected.
but when the lead came back he asked for the entire week’s status from that girl whereas i was the one he should have talked to. I even tried to talk and be a part of the status update but guess what.. that girl didn’t let me speak even and the status update went as ” I did this .. I talked to the client.. I did that”.
Whereas if were at her place, i would have said ” we as a team did this and that.”
All this might sound normal to you.. but it is taking a toll on my mental as well as physical health now.
I keep on brooding the entire day and thinking as to what i could do to make things right. But no solution fits well with my situation.
Suddenly all this has started making me re-evaluate my smartness and intelligence. I end up wondering if I am even worth any credits. Do I even know anything?
What do I do?
I have never ever thought of suicide (that is not my cup of tea!! )
but all this stuff is just making me sick and depressed and all the more stressed.
Please help me!!
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