This topic contains 3 replies, has 4 voices, and was last updated by  kiti 4 years, 6 months ago.

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  • #13265

    confusedguy
    Participant

    I have been with a girl for 4 years. Around 9 months back i had to go for an international assignment. We both were happily living the Long Distance and i was scheduled to go back in another 4 months and we were going to get married. Around 2 months back she said that she gets bored alone and wants to go out with some guys who lives in the same building as hers. I was totally ok and she started going out. Initially they go to markets and all, then it started that she was with them till late nights. I asked her to take a little care. She said everything will be fine. Then they started hanging out at her place for whole night. I tried to stop her but she said that they are just friends.

    One day i called her in the morning and she said that she has moved on meaning she had a physical relationship with one of those guys and dont want to be with me anymore. We had a fight and we stopped talking. We didnt talk for 10 days. I spent my days with a social cutoff and smoking and drinking. She called me after 10 days and said she did a mistake and wants to get back with me. I told her to forget whatever happened and i was ready to take her back but she had to cut her contacts with those guys. She said that is not possible and whether it was a mistake or not but those 10 days were very beautiful for her and she dont want to spoil them in any way. She says she wants to marry me but wants to keep him as a friend.

    I am totally devastated and confused that should i consider her request as a honest one or she is going to repeat whatever happened. She says she had very good sex in those 10 days and it was totally out of passion and nothing else. They sometimes had 10 times sex in a day only and it was ecstatic. Now, after 4 months, we were going to get married but the attitude she has towards what she did, i am totally confused whether i should consider this girl for marrying or not. Please advise.

    #15228

    Hey,
    U are still confused.. m kinda surprised by this reply of yours. Well she herself is very confused wether to be with you or with him. she wants both the cupcakes to herself which is not possible. its very matured of you to forgive her and take her back in your life..seems you really love her. but ask yourself do u trust her. as you yourself say that you are confused wether to get married to her or not. so just clear your mind first. if possible meet her up and talk to her and clear your mind. because decision about is not a child’s play. decide and take a stand.

    Hopefully you take a right decision. All the very best.

    stay positive and keep smiling

    Sonali Sardana
    Clinical Psychologist

    #15256

    losersom
    Participant

    mere bhai…. pyaar me andhe mat ho… trust me… its like ur doing suicide… I can’t understand how can u trust on her anymore.. I know u love her very much … but is baar ek lover ki tarah nahi.. balki ek normal insaam k point of view se socho… ki wo kaisi ladki hai ?
    Wo shaadi k baad bhi kisi aur k saath night stay karegi… aur jab tum usse bologe.. don’t do then she will say its very beautiful relationship I can’t leve him… wat would u do at that time…. kyu apne pair pe kulhaadi maar rahe ho ?? wo galti karne k baad bhi bol rhi hai ki wo karegi.. aur usse apni galti ka koi pachtaava bhi nahi hai…she is a slut.. plz don’t ever think to marry her… wo jab tumse ye kah sakti hai ki she can’t break her relationship with that guy.. still u wanna marry her… so strange… plz plz plz I request you to not to marry her.. plz… ur mad and blind in her love… but plz don’t do that… its better to live alone instead of marrying such a characterless girl..

    #15259

    kiti
    Participant
    confusedguy wrote:
    I have been with a girl for 4 years. Around 9 months back i had to go for an international assignment. We both were happily living the Long Distance and i was scheduled to go back in another 4 months and we were going to get married. Around 2 months back she said that she gets bored alone and wants to go out with some guys who lives in the same building as hers. I was totally ok and she started going out. Initially they go to markets and all, then it started that she was with them till late nights. I asked her to take a little care. She said everything will be fine. Then they started hanging out at her place for whole night. I tried to stop her but she said that they are just friends.

    One day i called her in the morning and she said that she has moved on meaning she had a physical relationship with one of those guys and dont want to be with me anymore. We had a fight and we stopped talking. We didnt talk for 10 days. I spent my days with a social cutoff and smoking and drinking. She called me after 10 days and said she did a mistake and wants to get back with me. I told her to forget whatever happened and i was ready to take her back but she had to cut her contacts with those guys. She said that is not possible and whether it was a mistake or not but those 10 days were very beautiful for her and she dont want to spoil them in any way. She says she wants to marry me but wants to keep him as a friend.

    I am totally devastated and confused that should i consider her request as a honest one or she is going to repeat whatever happened. She says she had very good sex in those 10 days and it was totally out of passion and nothing else. They sometimes had 10 times sex in a day only and it was ecstatic. Now, after 4 months, we were going to get married but the attitude she has towards what she did, i am totally confused whether i should consider this girl for marrying or not. Please advise.


    hiiii
    according to me u should not except her, & shud not give her second chance to hurt u again….relationship is based on trust , distance cant be the reason to cheat u. if u have done this she would have not accepted u. in future if she can do the same

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