This topic contains 2 replies, has 3 voices, and was last updated by  abhicrik 4 years ago.

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  • #13452

    Priyac18
    Participant

    Sir/Ma’am,

    Thanks for sparing some time to read and understand to give solutions to my problems of life which has led me to a state of depression as I am always thinking about this day and night.

    To start with, my name is Priya and I am 25 years old, female and I got married in November,2011. I have done B.com (hons), Banking professional course and MBA (Finance).

    I work in Central Government job but after delivering a baby girl in November 2012, I have been on maternity leave and since after I am on Loss Of Pay as I live in a nuclear family i.e. me, my husband and my baby girl.

    I always want to be a working girl for the fact that I want to be financially independent. It makes me confident,happy, self
    contented with my life and in short it’s my life. My husband does not has the heart to support me financially even if he earns quite good. He can spend that on his mom without even thinking. Should I ask my parents to give me monthly Pocket Money? But after my baby, its been difficult for me to resume my job,am only sending applications to my office for extending my leaves and I know now its been 10 months and no more leaves will be sanctioned to me as I have availed all my leaves and I am on probation right now. If I don’t join they might kick me out and after one and half years i will be overage to get any government job as I want to do govt job only.

    One more thing as due to my nature, I am overprotective and overpossessive about my baby girl so I will never want to put her to a creche or day boarding all the day for the sake of my job as i will in extreme tension. My mother in law stays out of station and also she is not willing to take the responsibility as my husband tells me that she has her own life to live now and that her responsibilities are over now.

    If I don’t do job in this family, they will not give me due respect and my mother in law insists on me being working and my husband and his mother are comfortable with the idea of putting my 9 months old baby in a creche.(They are advising me this when my baby was just 4 months old). but I can’t think of this as she can’t even ask water for herself and i will be in great tension.

    My husband is the shravan kumar of today’s world. He never gives me emotional support that one wife expects from her husband. I have come leaving my family and friends for him. Everytime his mother do something or say something bad to me , he never stands up with me or supports me even when I am right. His mother left me after 5 days of my major Casearean delivery and that time I was not able to even bend and I took care of my child myself from the fifth day and due to this and not getting proper diet and care at that time, i am having severe back pains, very low vit D etc… My Husband is too sensitive so I can’t even get angry on him on this behaviours as he might take some extreme step but I am deeply hurt with him and specially with his mother. She’ is not letting him be my husband completely even after marriage of 1 year and nine months. I am frustated and deeply hurt and can’t do anything. I am so caring and given my everything to my husband and expect if not the same but something in return. Am I wrong?? I feel like committing suicide but can’t even do that as God has given the responsibility of this sweet little girl.

    Waiting for your reply eagerly and I will be really grateful to you for yours this act of kindness.
    Thanking you.

    #15313

    sd23
    Participant

    Hey Priya,

    What happens when your baby is school age? Are you going to be as possessive when she starts kindergarten? It might be a painful decision but I think you should go back to work, as it seems your husband doesn’t want to support you financially. Or maybe you can keep upgrading your skills while at home (relevant course/certification) and join a private bank when your daughter is a toddler.

    Hope all goes well with you.

    -A fellow member

    #15338

    abhicrik
    Participant

    hello priya,
    you need to be strong for this.
    Now it’s your turn to show your worth by doing something financially and being a father too of your child.
    If you need any help then feel free to ask
    take care

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