This topic contains 11 replies, has 4 voices, and was last updated by  Swarup 1 year, 3 months ago.

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  • #18027
    Profile photo of antoniatte princy
    antoniatte princy
    Participant

    Hi… im in 2nd year now. my problem is that im a very complicated person and im not able to understand me. everyone would like to have friends , talk with them , share with our friends our secrets but i don’t have any friends. i know no one would like me because when they come and talk to me i feel shy ( though they are my same age) so i will reply in one word and let them go.There are many reasons for me not talking with people like my voice is very low and childish so no one will be able to hear me unless i talk loudly ….. my voice would be like a child and more or less i look like a 9th std girl . my voice, my behaviour , my appearance seems like a small girls. i have bad breath and due to that i cant talk loudly . But still sometimes i have superiority complex and sometimes without knowing i hurt people by my words . im not able to control my thoughts and whatever i feel i just talk that but people wil think bad. my nature is that if i like someone very much , i take liberty in them and be very affectionate to them even if they hurt me i’ll go back to them forgetting whatever they have done . but since too much of affection is not so good they get irritated and no one is with me now. i have my parents, sisters, bf but still i feel all alone . my pronounciation of words are not proper so i hesitate to talk even with my dad much. the only hope for me now is my lover. i have so much of inferiority complex on my appearance , my talks, etc but he says he likes me because im short, cute and i behave childish. thought it makes me settle i still have a fear that he will get irritated if i talk to him like a mad blabbering all things . i have said to him infinite times that we’ll break up because u will not like me in the same way everytime and im not a good pair for u so u marry another girl but somehow he convinces me . i love to have friends but when someone talks to me i ignore them later when they dont talk i talk to them but then she wont become my friend , she will just talk to me like a classmate. please help me for sometimes i feel there are two persons in me.

    #18028

    Swarup
    Participant

    Hi princy its ok that till now u didn’t make any frds but it is not so difficult for u to make them. Be bold always in talking with all. Its common that feeing shy in talking first but whenever u meet again and again then u can make simple talk with all. It will increase ur confidence and u will feel comfortable with others. If u have any question u can ask me or contact my id
    [email protected]

    #18029
    Profile photo of antoniatte princy
    antoniatte princy
    Participant

    hii awaraj … thank you for your reply and advice. I dont like being the centre of attraction like people watching me keenly trying to figure out what im telling. I dont like to talk much i ignore people or i’ll just smile and come from there . I like to sit alone , read novels or listenin to sngs etc. but sometimes i feel very lonely and if i want to share anything or if i have something in my mind i just want to tell it to someone and at that time if anyone t alks to me well i share to them everything . But they aren’t my true friends there are some people who wanted to kn w only the secret and then they won’t talk . i had a good friend and itz only because of her i had a confidence that even i can get friends but 2 days back i told her that i love so now we are ot in touch .

    #18030

    Swarup
    Participant

    Hi princy it does not mean if u have lover then u don’t need anyone. Make frds they will be with u always in ur life. There is number of difference between love and friendship. So never loose ur frd because of lover. Its good that u don’t wanted to be a center of attraction , remember only attitude making people will not have frds. Just try to talk more things , share ur thoughts discuss any matter of facts then u will feel comfortable eith others.

    #18034
    Profile photo of antoniatte princy
    antoniatte princy
    Participant

    hii..
    you are right both are not same and i should talk with all. now my problem is that i have decided to break up with him cuz i wanted him to talk with me always but sometimes when he doesn’t talk i get upset. he says that your alwayz free so u cant xpect me to txxt u when am busy . i knw i dont t ry to understandnhis problems so i want to break up and i want him to forget me and be happy. but we cant be without each other and i love him a lot.

    #18035

    Swarup
    Participant

    You should understand him princy when u have time it is not compulsory that he is also free in same time so not make pressure on him. It is good that you wanted to talk with him always but he may have other works so may not give u time. Thats why should make other frds if u wants to chat always then they can give u company. Thats the only problem u have now having only one frd. So it is normally makes u to feel alone whenever they are busy.

    #18038
    Profile photo of antoniatte princy
    antoniatte princy
    Participant

    hmmm ya i should understand him .im not able to do that but i’ll surely do and thank you so much swarup.

    #18039
    Profile photo of Prachi
    Prachi
    Moderator

    Hi princy, I can imagine the emotional pain you must be going through in your life when you can’t even understand yourself. Our identity gives us confidence to face the world but you sound like you don’t know who you are and that’s why the world is such a scary and confusing place. I also feel that you have attachment difficulties and that’s why you either attach and express either too much, too little or inappropriately. I would suggest you seek professional long term emotional help with a good therapist. It will do wonders for your self esteem and your life chaos. As for breaking up with your boyfriend, remember that you’re trying to sabotage the only stable relationship in your life and pushing away the one person who accepts you the way you are. It won’t make anything better princy. Try to work with the few assets you have and don’t push them away. They are your strengths, let them be there. All the best!

    #19479
    Profile photo of waseem
    waseem
    Participant

    princy,
    nobuddy helps in any way but we have to make our mind to help ourself
    try to build self confidence and live our own life

    #19480
    Profile photo of waseem
    waseem
    Participant

    I thnk u are going through the right path

    do wht ever you want and be confident what u are doin is right

    #19485
    Profile photo of antoniatte princy
    antoniatte princy
    Participant

    Hey guys ….
    U know what happen …. I’m already in inferiority complex …. Now my lover has left me ….. He feels he can’t live with me … Am so depressed …. I don’t know how I will further move my life …. Whatever I like will go away from me .

    #19489

    Swarup
    Participant

    Hi princy , its not the things u like are going away from u, they are all just not meant for u. Whatever the things we like all will not come with us for long time. Just u hav done a mistake of choosing a wrong one which will not suitable for ur life thats it. Now a days we has to be flexible with certain things which changes according to times. If someone really likes u then they will not gonna leave u at any circumstances, so be aware of people who changes according to their needs. So don’t be depressed nothing happened like that….

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