This topic contains 3 replies, has 3 voices, and was last updated by Profile photo of Confusedlikehell Confusedlikehell 2 years, 9 months ago.

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  • #13836
    Profile photo of divinemercy
    divinemercy
    Participant

    Hello,

    I am really confused on how and where my relationship is heading and not sure where am I standing.

    I fell in love with a girl in my office about 2 yrs ago, initially i approached her and she took her time to agree as she has had about 12 relationships in past and getting into relationship was always very risky for her.

    She is outward modern girl who likes party around and freak out. I am also similar but more on balanced side where I take responsibilities and also fun I like to balance it out.

    We have always had our indifference from beginning but however I have always tried to control my anger and always let of things where she does mistakes and blunders.

    She did share to me about her past relationships and also openly confessed that she has had physical relationships with 80% of her Ex’s and also been aborted twice. I always never consider a girl’s past and always go by her present and future. I have always told her that her past doesn’t matter to me but only how she decides to lead in future.

    She has a policy of Ex’s can also be friend and has been in touch with all her Ex’s. I always believe an Ex is an Ex coz they are your past and its best to move on as been friends will always have emotions attached which will never let them move on.

    We got engaged last year and due to family and our indifference’s it broke after few months. After breakup we both have been working in the same office as co-workers all though we don’t talk anything personal but keep it professional.

    After breakup she started to date and was desperate to get married and started hunting for guys she tried with three guys and broke up with all of them. One been a long distance relationship with a Divorcee of two kids. After these breakup she was really depressed. During this course I left aboard for few weeks and came back. After I came back she started to talk to me and indirectly showed interest of getting back together. Since I have loved her more than anybody I also started to talk to her and we both got back together.

    In the past we have sex countless times and even after getting back together we did have sex. After having sex few weeks later she started to avoid me saying her parents have a doubt that we both have got back together and they started to fight with her. She told we need to keep it low in office and outside until things calm down.

    Slowly she started to ignore my chats and calls and completely stopped any kind of communication. After few weeks she started to date an another co-worker of mine in the office and openly flirted with him in front of everyone in office.

    Now from past few days she has started to chat with me again regarding work and also slowly started to start sharing her personal things.

    I am really not sure what to do, Do i give her another chance or is it not worth it cox she broke my trust and started dating another guy in the office in midst of me.

    In few months I am leaving the country and going abroad for job for 5-6 yrs she is very well aware about it. Is she playing mind games with me, Does she really love me or was I an option for her and still an option for her.

    She always says she lived her life with me like my wife and emotions she has shared with me is what always pulls her towards me.

    What should I do ? Should I forget her or give it another shot. Please advise.

    #15546
    Profile photo of lindsey_sooze
    lindsey_sooze
    Participant

    I suggest you to leave her immediately and stop all your interaction with her. Is she the only girl left in this world?
    She is not even think about you. All the decisions are coming from her. When she want she start talking with you and stop talking with you.
    Has she ever care about your emotions and feelings of heart? A girl who went physically twice in past and still want to maintain friendship with them looks very odd.
    Your entire problem which you stated above clearly says that you have lost your identity. You have to think about your self-respect. Kick her out from your life.

    #15555
    Profile photo of divinemercy
    divinemercy
    Participant
    lindsey_sooze wrote:
    I suggest you to leave her immediately and stop all your interaction with her. Is she the only girl left in this world?
    She is not even think about you. All the decisions are coming from her. When she want she start talking with you and stop talking with you.
    Has she ever care about your emotions and feelings of heart? A girl who went physically twice in past and still want to maintain friendship with them looks very odd.
    Your entire problem which you stated above clearly says that you have lost your identity. You have to think about your self-respect. Kick her out from your life.

    Thanks for the advise, She is like a wave where when her friends are around or when her life is all busy and happening she forgets me, but when she gets lonely she starts to initiated a conversation and try patching up. I am very sure in few months before I leave abroad she will definitely try another drama to hold me back.

    I am just not sure how to approach that moment and how to react.

    Any expert suggestions is really appreciated………………

    #15602
    Profile photo of Confusedlikehell
    Confusedlikehell
    Participant

    Mmmm this girl seems like me. A small bit of advice. Only a given few can handle such girls. So stay away bro :). She’ll calm down after a period of time and settle down. But the chances of you being that person is almost nil. So you go abroad and find a suitable stable minded girl and settle down :) Yes she will always keep a backup with you unless you be stern and just let her go. Even if it hurts both of you. Concentrate on spending time with friends and family. And on her behalf i’ll let you know this-Some girls are just scared to not find love or have a happy life so they just keep looking for it and keeping some backups. Yes we are selfish but who isn’t? The problem is people don’t understand how much we mess up our own lives in fear of not finding love but it will all settle down sooner or later i hope. Lindsey please stop judging the other person in these posts.

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