May 17, 2014 at 8:30 am #13702
My problem started when I was in college (2002). I was suffering from anxiety disorder and feeling of depression. after some time my problem got resolved with the help of a psychiatrist who suggested me prothedin75 tablet for 3 years. In 2005, I was Okay and medicine was going on. One day I came in contact of my cousin sister who was 14 years old at that time and I was 20 years old. We just had little bit of oral contacts and no further things etc. for not more then 7 instances in a span of 1 month. After that, her younger sister from Uncle came in contact with me who was 12 years old for a similar period and act. Both didn’t came to know till 5 years that I had contacted both.
My problem actually started in 2009-10, when my paternal Aunt (who lives in our house upstairs) started to indirectly tease me regarding this episode privately by saying some satires or playing some music etc. this continued for at least one month.
One day, I became very aggressive and I went upstairs and I expressed my anger without saying anything but showed my eyes filled with anger for couple of minutes and later i told them that I feel you are always talking about me to others and i also apologized to her.
But this action of mine made her believe the truth which earlier she might only be suspecting and later she actually increased her cruelty towards me and she actually ruined my reputation in friends and relatives and neighborhood. This continued for 5 months but I was quite and in a way I had realized that it was actually due to my misdeeds.
At that time in 2009 when I consulted doctors at Govt. Hospital, they prescribed me venlor xr 75 and lithoson sr and zepiz 0.5 (d-n) which is continued till date.
In between (2010), I once went to the railway track for suicide but came back when my Sister called me up. Again after one month I took some sleeping pills to suicide but was unsuccessful as family members took me to the hospital in time.
I am married now since 2011 and have a baby boy also. I have a good relationship with my wife as well. My immediate family members don’t know the actual story regarding my problem except my father, who initially was against me but now we are having a good relation.
My sister’s in-laws have good idea about this and I feel that’s the reason why my sister is also not well settled in her married life. Also my younger brother’s love relationship was broken due to this.
Even now, when I skip my medicine I feel low, depressed and sometimes suicidal thoughts also come.
Please help me in coming out of this as it is already 10 years now and i also want to withdraw all medicines I am taking. I regularly do Yoga in the morning and also take around 20 Tulsi leaves in a day but to no benefit. The inferiority/guilt complex in me is not dying, though those girls are perfectly okay in their lives but I always feel worried for them regarding their marriage etc.
Thanks.May 19, 2014 at 7:17 pm #15435
jst take out the fear from u..do anulom vilom…and jst do thngs that mak u happiest,,,listening music, say writiing…say painting..talking to frnds…playing wd ur little one…..
u r doing yoga to get calm..u r taking mediceine to b calm…y not do somthng that make u happy then u wd not need any thng…yoga…for health is good…but wen mind is nt relaxed all is fake..
try forget thngs u r over with,,,thnk u r a responsible human…u r a father..who hold his child future..u cnt think of suiciding…
evrybdy has his destiny,,ur sis…ur bro..all…so stop blaming urself..instead try helping them if ever they need u..
also….stop these medications..thy r drawing u more towards insanity…y not start afresh..thnk u did sumthn that was past….after all u didn t KILL somebdy? let bygones b bygones.
ur wife loves u ..ur baby depends on u….start new..stay happy…thnk u puke to every person or song..or any entity on this universe that reminds u of ur silly past.
ur LIFE is today in PRESENT…past is gone..smile and say bye bye to all .who r with u appreciate and who all tease u…..spit on it…and ignore..as u must not know even pplwho tease others hav a strange past…..the r losers.
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