This topic contains 6 replies, has 4 voices, and was last updated by  Amit 2 years, 1 month ago.

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  • #18155

    Aditya
    Participant

    me and my girlfriend are in a relationship since 4 years.
    we both love each other a lot. Unfortunately thats the only thing similar in us. We fight a lot. After 4 years the fights have increased its scale. we get very irritated and suffocated. Though we come back to normal at the end of the day but fights remain unsorted. If we try to solve it we end up fighting again. she is very short tempered and i m too calm. except for love for each other we are poles in our thoughts, living style, behaviour, nature, and decisions. its affecting us a lot this year is my ty.b.com i make her understand she understands for that moment but again the same thing. if i advice her to change something which will improve her. she thinks i m changing her nature and not trying to accept her the way she is. she is a very nice girl. i trust her. we definitely wanna get married in future but day by day our increasing fights scare me and pull me back to go ahead with the marriage thing. What should i do?

    #18159

    Swarup
    Participant

    Hi aditya, it is normal that most of girls gets angry quickly in love. So don’t be disturbed with this. It may be depends on age , mentality and thinking capacity about all the things. Don’t worry she will understand all this on going days as she face the world and people. So u said u are calm person then ur problems will be solved more with this quality only. Don’t be more calm then it may affect u. If anything happens then sit with her , talk calmly everything will be alright.
    do u have any doubt then contact my id bro [email protected]

    #18208

    Pari
    Participant

    Dear Aditya,

    Please sit down and do a thorough brainstorming as to what are the things which make you feel connected towards her rather towards each other. Love is one of them.
    Looking at the current situation decision of marrying each other should be postponed for some time.
    I believe even if there is love its not easy to lead a Happy Life with daily feuds.I guess, calculate your Opportunity Cost of leaving or staying in this relationship.

    Rest leave on time…..
    Pari

    #18210

    Aditya
    Participant

    Thank you swarup and Pari. Will think over it. and will get married once we both are settled. She is from a sindhi family and i am from a maharashtrian family. definitely there has to be poles difference in our lifestyles.

    i wanted one more suggestion.
    this year is my last year + Her family expects a guy who has a good bank balance (ofcourse every girl family needs that). In order to get that i have to work hell tough and smart to marry her which is why I have kept a timeline of three years from now. Only i know that even those three years wont be enough but i have to do.
    She realizes that but acts kiddish. I give her time. We meet every ten days. We spend time together but then her demands go on increasing. I explain her make her understand but doesnt work.

    Is their any way i can make her understand that these three to four years are very imp for it will get us together. plz help

    #18224

    Swarup
    Participant

    Aditya its not the simple matter for both of u, then how could she act like this. She really needs time to get more matured. First both of u should realise that marriage is not a simple matter, its good that u have understood the problems but she should also make mind about it. So be confident and take some more time to deal with it.

    #18305

    Pari
    Participant

    Dear Aditya,
    I agree with Swarup. However i feel that even you need to be more thoughtful about the whole thing.
    Yaar you are just in your 3rd year of B.Com!!
    This is simple graduation. you are not doing any professional study which can get you a job more than 15k( on a higher side)looking at the current market.
    How can you earn well in this scenario and expect to please her parents. You need to take up your career seriously else you might repent at last. This is for your entire life. At this early age thinking of settling down and expecting to earn lacs is not practical.
    Commitment has to be from both sides and not only from yours.
    and what about her career???? What she wants to do in her life??? what do you expect from your partner????? Think dude….
    DO NOT COMPROMISE ON YOUR CAREER .
    I AM SORRY.. I MIGHT BE SOUNDING VERYYY RUDE.

    #18307

    Amit
    Participant

    I agree with pari’s opinion. Aditya you are a young dude. Just sit down calmly and write all the advantages and disadvantages of whatever your decision may be with the help of a marriage councellor or an expert who can objectively work on that with u and i am sure u will come to the best decision.

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