August 29, 2018 at 8:35 am #21536
I was dating this girl for about a year and one time she went on a trip to her grandparents lake house after that she immediately began to change, 2 days past after she got to her parents lake house and all of the sudden one day she was acting so weird I asked her if she still wanted to be with me because honestly that day she showed no reason to be together anymore. I asked her if she still wanted to be with me and she said no, she said that she wasn’t happy anymore but literally 2 days before we were talking about traveling the world together and going on vacations together, she said that she wanted to break up because she needed to love herself first so she could love me, I told her I would wait on her until she felt ready but she replied ” what if I’m never ready which broke my heart… its been a month and I’ve been talking to friends and my parents about it and they all tell me to start hating her they tell me that is the only way for me to move on but how can I hate someone I loved with all my heart and saw my future with her,,,they tell me that she wouldn’t do this to me if she really loved me,, and they are right,,, but I don’t know what to do anymore,,, I’m depressed and don’t know what to do…
If someone can help me or talk to me about it I would really appreciate it,,,Thank you,October 8, 2018 at 12:34 pm #21549
Hi, whatever happened is not your fault, people usually change their mind and views about others. It may happen because of many reasons like family situation, personal situation, future needs , feeling of not satisfied etc. So the girl may have thought any reason but she denied to tell you the exact thing.
So in this you need to know about the people how the change according to time and feel good for yourself because you came to know about that person earlier. It’s easy to forget her but you need to realise how she was selfish with her life and how you don’t need that kind of girl in your life. You’re much lucky to have your parents and people around you who still take care of you. When you have people like this then you don’t need a girl like her.
When you haven’t done anything wrong then you don’t need to worry about anything.
If you have anything in your mind then You’re welcome to have a conversation.December 4, 2018 at 1:27 pm #21578
I’m very sorry to hear what you had to go through. It must have been a huge shock to your system. From what you have described, it sounds like after she went to the lake house, something triggered in her that made her see herself in a different light. This could be an old painful memory or some new incident that evoke a past painful memory. It sounds like she suddenly realised that she wasn’t good enough and that she needed to figure some things out for herself before she allowed herself to belong to someone else. This is my hypothesis.
As for you, if you go on everyone’s advice and try to hate her, you’ll only fill yourself with negativity and bitterness and never be able to heal from this. I suggest you try and accept in your heart that she had her reasons for doing what she did and though you ended up with a broken heart, the precious moments you two shared were beautiful and showed you love. Don’t let this be a reason for losing your faith in love. And after a few months or a year, try and touch base with her once to let her know that whatever happened with her, you never stopped caring and you’re standing by to support her.
Yes, its possible that you may never get closure on this if she never comes back to tell you what happened, but sometimes when things happen due to factors out of our hands, its best to accept that the responsibility of those actions lies with the person who did them and its not your responsibility to fix the situation. Remind yourself of all the beautiful moments your relationship brought to you and then say an amicable goodbye to it in your heart so that you can heal and move forward in your life. I wish you good luck! If you need any more help, you can always reach me for personal sessions. Take care!
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