December 4, 2018 at 5:43 pm #21581
I didn’t expect to express this on such platform in order to fetch some guidance but things always never happen the way you dream of them with open eyes. It’s not just only the academics which is making me type it out but trying to maintain a personality upon which fingers don’t get pointed easily too holds a big stake. Even completing school with A grades, college with position among first five merit holders and gracefully completing Intermediate level in Chartered Accountancy course without any backlogs failed to gain me some respect in the eyes of the two angels who brought me up this far. Being compared to others deprived of flagship smartphones and chauffeur driven car makes you feel like a dog fed with a bone just to ensure that he doesn’t lags in protecting premises at night. Fortunately some are likely to get love and care from their masters. It also pains feeling when one is made to travel onto a path requiring dedication and capabilities which not everyone may have but when your efforts are just to make the name of your family glitter, that might make one stay awake countless nights even with eyes shut so that others don’t get disturbed. A person wishes to pursue the field he finds creative but the closed ideologies of his elders and even the regret of once being made to stand on the same place as you are now automatically closes the doors for you. One may start a venture to try his luck on dictated terms but even a rubber band has limits of being stretched. Frequent clashes with loved ones, growing disinterests in professional studies, sense of being isolated socially, feeling of quitting everything just to become a nomad beggar and numerous other personal reasons keep popping which even made me google out psychiatrists around me.
Currently i’m in such a confused state of mind that i’m finding it difficult to concentrate on my finals approaching in less than 12 months and i don’t even have anyone to speak all this out. Any suggestion or guidance will be of exemplary help.
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