September 1, 2012 at 10:49 pm #15086
(Sorry for my english) When I was 8 I was a shy kid. I was sitting alone while others were loud. But people liked me. Nobody cared.
Once some teacher said that I’m different than other kids, I’m shy and quiet (among all). It was so embarrassing. Then others started to say “hey, look at him he’s shy and doesn’t speak”. Of course I was but less than others and everyone was describing me as a helpful, shy, quiet kid. There was also other girl who was very shy (much more than me), (I shouldn’t say that) strange and ugly. My “friends” from class started to say “hey you should be a couple haha!” or “how’s your girlfriend”… When there was silence in the class, one guy told me “hey (my name) say something” when I did everybody smiled and laghed at me…
Few years later I wasn’t shy I was just normal, polite guy, I wasn’t swearing but they were still making fun of me. If they had to focus one person they could laugh at or the shyest person they would focus on me, not someone else or even that girl. I don’t know why, I think that they like to make fun of me out of habit as everyone did. Imagine situation where one guy from my It’s so embarrasing I didn’t like them I always tried to avoid them I didn’t make friends because I was afraid that everybody will say “he’s very talkative haha” or “do you know his girlfriend”. Imagine situation: one guy from my class walks with 2 blonde girls and says embarrassing things about me. It was bullying… I thought that avoding them till I finish school will be the best. It was the worst mistake I did.
I cried few times because of it but I don’t wanna metion it.
Soon Ill be 18 I go to school where I havent known anybody before. I like new school. Year ago I overcame fear and even created account on facebook (I’ve never had myspace or something like that) at least they don’t make fun of me there. The problem is that nothing has changed. Some people still make fun of me. As I said since I go to other school, here NOBODY called me shy or something like that and nobody makes fun of me. I’m introvert who wears glasses
But sometimes I have to meet “old friends”. Should I tell them “get the f*** out” I don’t know what can be their reaction, they would be shocked but finally my patience is over. How to stop it. I just want to have norma life.September 2, 2012 at 4:32 am #15088
Dear Ms. Prachi,
I am 24 yrs old and my problem is that I can’t take any decision, I just tear from confusion. Even if I have made one, I sufferer strongly from confusion, perhaps the other option was right. I can’t stay happy for a minute, always anxious. How can I be free from this situation? It affects my mind and health strongly. plz helpSeptember 2, 2012 at 12:55 pm #15090
can i get help?
please help me.i am severely obsessive.so much that i cant function.i just keep think about my failed relationship.my heart just sinks.i know its normal for people to mourn for a few days but they eventually get on with life.i just cant.it has been 20 years. and i am still stuck.i am mourning even today as if it is still fresh.i am tired.even though i want to but my mind just does not stop.how to stop it.i think i need medeicines.therapy has not worked for me.i have tried everything except medicines.i just want my mind to stop.and accept.and be content with today.but i cant even move.from 20 years i just stall my time.just become still.watch tv.not meet anybody.cant cook.cant dress up.cant even have bath for a month also.please help me get over my obsessions.give me some medicine or anything which will tell my mind to stop obsessing over the past and what just cant be.it has been a long time.20 years.please help me.September 2, 2012 at 2:21 pm #15091
i am a 20 yr old studen of bcom
i and my bf have been into a relation fr 2 yrs now
we both know each other since 18 years now…..our families vwere best frnds nd great family frnds …it ws in 2010 we fall in for each other …my parents are bit low in terms of mental status…..all was going on good for last year we came to know that my mom nd my bfs dad had some chats on fb dat were not right they had things lyk i love you and all….after dis came to noe that due to my dad’s short temperedness and ol she dint felt any importancce ans she was involved with 2-3 more uncles married and our family frnd too wen ol dis came into light both of our families mine nd of my bf stopped taking
Both of us cried for days and night for what has happened and our love life is all destroyed aftr dat we tired to break up bt cudnt…….
its an year now both families donot tak ……my bfs mother hates my mother for obvious reasons nd so she hates our family toooo…..
now my bf is leaving me he doesnt want it …but he says he cnt tell his mom bout me so dis has to end
We both love each other alot for me is so much to me my father mother lover frnd guide ol,……loosing him is killing me i feel lyk SUCIDING EAC MINUTE widout him pleaseee help me outttttttttttt
PLEASE HELP PLEASE HEEELP MEEE OUTT DO SOMTHNG I FEEL LYK DYINGGGGGGGGGGGGGG:(September 3, 2012 at 7:51 pm #15077
Hello Ms. prachi,
I am a medical doctor (still a student) and i have many problems with my parents. We are from a well living family my parents are either traveling or at work i see them every 3 to 4 days once i have a sister that traveled abroad and i have a sick brother who has kind of socail phobia.I feel i have no parents we rareky see them they don’t talk to us they are always busy they think being parents is only giving money to their sons and daughters not more than that . I have no friends all my freinds are the same as me only studying all the time since we are medicine students we are all the time studying i don’t go outdoors only to the university or to the hospital . I have no one to talk to, no parents, no friends, no brother or sister to understand,none.Added to that i have been like 7 years in a relation with a man he is 20 years older than me he is divorced and has kids we loved each other much but he is so poor and we are from a wealthy family with my parents position in the community my parents rejected him many times when he wanted to marry me and now after 7 years he decided to marry sice he has been waiting me 7 years and my parents rejected him so he left me alone now, thats all because of my parents ill thinking, looking at people from how much they have in their pockets not from their inner hearts. I am really passing a miserable time since i have no time to do anything in my life just ot study this adds to my depression with exams all the time and so on. I really have thought of starting on an Antidepressant but i don’t know, I don’t know why life puts us in such situations, no one can have what he wants in this life. Many people want money and wealth, I have lots of money and wealth and i am a doctor and from a good family but i don’t have even half a minute of happiness or good mood in my life …please help me …September 4, 2012 at 5:40 am #15093
I recently completed my MBA in Finance from a top B school of MP, i am the boys topper of my class but still i don’t have a job its not bcoz companies did not came but because of my high specifications about job profile. I don’t know to expect best in life is wrong if you made efforts to achieve it although i always feel that there is a scope for improvement but day by day am getting lazy my strength is getting deteriorated. People say that you are so much talented y u did nt get a job but how can i tell them once i had five job offers with me but not matching my expectations i rejected them and today is the day when am not able to get the least one of them. thats my present situation.
Secondly, i always aspire for the best thats y i aspire for civil services and to crack UPSC i need to give my everything to it but how will i do it when i am not able to control my thoughts am not able to focus on things i lack consistency in me but at the same time i cant imagine myself as a person who did not made a difference in the society.
Last but the imp one is that no one in my family understand me my father, mother and sisters they all think in the usual way a middle class person would think they dont have big dreams they are happy in wherever they are but they dont understand that with time we should also change. we always have very arguments and tensed environment in our home some time fight also i dont like that i want to live a peaceful life. although i cant blame them for the way they are i cant let me be like them. believe me am in dilemma for almost everything in life and i want to be focused sharp and go getter.
please tell me what to do i dont have driving force i always feel that if i could have someone who can motivate me at every point of time when i feel low who care for me whomsoever he or she may be but i dont have any person like that in my life. Once i had a gf but she said she love sm1 else so she left me n i had to let her go anyway but she was the best girl with pure soul i still love her its been like more than 2 yr now i can never forget her i always wish that she lives well with her love the only thing i can do for her now
so, please guide me what to doSeptember 8, 2012 at 4:01 pm #15101
i want to discuss some issues how do i do that
i plan things but they never go that way plz help me and this is there since childhood.
I went through your website some days back ,and to my concern i could not
stop and penned down the issues i am facing in the hope that they shall get
I am residing in mumbai india and have recently finished with my graduation on may 2011.and
got a job too which i left in some time only served for 1 yr and resigned .
During my job tenure i felt that m slowly feeling that my memory power was
reducing day by day as in while speaking i dont get words at times ,and even
if i am working on some project i tend to forget the details. moreover these days m trying to get in a school i have been always deprived of good education.
I have been a person who is mostly socially cutoff from rest but i do
maintain good relations with everyone ,the reason being i was born and
bought up at a place filled with terrorism and kept ourself restricted to
home most of the time since when i was 1 yr old in 1989 in j&k northern india .
My concern in this is that is this normal or somethings wrong .
I am not able to concentrate to one single thing since childhood ,even in
studies the thing that troubled i just used to leave it then and their.
Apart from no wonder i did well in every exam but some were down the line i
feel now that i am not able to put my best,can u help me in this .
i just keep watching tv serials with happy endings and stay happy m life is limited to some 30 minute drama only .i find happiness nowhere else.
I am not clear in life of what i want .,to what level and how to go about it..This is not it the love of my life is very close to me but being from different religion none of the parents are willing and we dont want to ruin there setup and have decided to just stay friends .now may be i have given u the complete picture i thing watever i could collect.
I think you could be a better judge,. plz help me wat shud i do.September 10, 2012 at 8:56 am #15103
my best friend is a person for whom i have gone out of my way to help even though im not obligated to do so.But when im helping her, if anything goes wrong she blames me by saying im deliberately sabotaging up her life and she doesnt know if she can trust me.but she makes a person feel sorry for her.i cant help but offer help.but sometimes it just doesnt work out and things get messed up.she has a way of making me feel SO guilty.
this has happened so many times that i feel worn out now.if i mess up then she is angry and she doesnt talk to me for days.
the problem is other than this our f’ship is perfect.we understand each other & love hanging out.
one more thing.im excellent at manipulating and telling lies whenever required.im not ashamed of it.but when we argue it ends up with her saying that since she doesnt know when im telling the truth she cant understand whether to trust me or not.
and she can be really mean and hurting during these times.
she knows how her acting out makes me feel.but she cant help it.and she generally has so many other problems going on that it makes me feel like a bitch for letting her down.
i want to know what a)she can do to stop this?
b)i can do?
c)is she a drama queen?or is it just me?
d)am i better of without her?September 12, 2012 at 8:06 am #15104
I am an engineering student in my final year. I have a very close friend with whom I’ve been planning on starting up a venture. I told my parents about my ideas about a year ago and they aren’t very happy about it. They want me to take up a job and have a secure life. They tell me that they worry about me.
I have been telling my friend that I too believe and will be happy to start up the venture. I really want to as well. But both my family and my friend put me in sort of a dilemma.
My family tells me about the future problems and their inabilities to lend me any money for the start-up. And they tell me to do a job for a few years and then get into business if i want. Whereas my friend wants me to be clear about my intentions and doesn’t like the idea of me doing a job at all. He asks me to be true to my ambitions and do what is required without wasting time.
If I try to do what my family says I seem confused and weak to my friend and fall into a category of people who just say “big stuff but never do”. I would feel ashamed and guilty if he thinks of me that way. I don’t want to feel like a pretender to him after 4 years of close friendship.
Moreover if i try to do what my friend says I become a bad son to my parents. I become a person who is easily influenced by another one and they find me weak.Again a question on my dignity and my self-esteem.
Please suggest me something to make my family believe in my future aspirations while at the same time make my friend more confident of me and my intentions. I don’t want to loose anyone of them. They are all dear to me. I also don’t want to loose my self-esteem as I have been true to everyone and never been fake.September 13, 2012 at 8:51 am #15105
I am confused about my characteristics, sometimes i think i have dual personality. I have both opposite characteristic. I want to be famous, lonely, richest, servers to poors, make a lot of money, athletic, sporty, lazy, passionate, dull, funny, boring, want gov. job and sometimes mnc jobs, like to read newspaper sometimes not. Its like I want to be all rounder. I want everything. Like to become actor, model, businessman, job. NO girlfrnd. sometimes feel like wannabe.
Please help me with my problem. I am most of the time confused.
RSeptember 13, 2012 at 11:56 am #15106
I will call myself B(22) and my girlfriend A(24).
We started seeing each other in the final year of our BE degree. My mom found out about the relationship by sneaking into my Gmail box and reading through my emails. She reacted very badly, got hysteric and used to be depressed a lot. She would continuously shout at me trying to get me to breakup. She even threatened suicide to this end. The reason she gave me was that she believed that A was “not trustworthy”. I cannot begin to describe how bad the situation was. She would not talk to me for days at end, and even if she did she would fight. She would try to make me feel guilty for failing my duties as a son (for not honoring her wishes). I eventually convinced her that we needed to go to a psychologist. I was diagnosed with depression. The counselor counseled both of us and things seemed to improve. In my last session the counselor told me that I needed to come only after the exams once as he felt I was OK. He did ask me to try and send my mom. But she refused to go. And since things had improved I did not see a problem. I gave my exams and despite all the problems I stood first in the university. [This was happening from Feb-June 12] (Counselor told me my mom has problems too (brooding, depression))
One incident I must mention here is that once I had left my phone at home and stepped out. A had called on it. My mom picked it up and abused her a lot. She called her a liar, abused her dead parents (they passed away in a car accident), and called her a loose person.
[Last few weeks]
I passed out and started a dream fellowship at IIT-B (as a junior research fellow). (I still am). I work hard here. From Monday to Saturday, from morning to noon. I am hoping to use this to get into a higher education scholarship (I hope to go to CRISP, NUS Singapore). On Sundays I would go to meet A. (And a couple of weekdays when She and I finished work early). I would call her on my way to and from work. I had stopped texting so as not to incite my mom again. Again my mom found out about me meeting her (from the stub of a train ticket). (I have been working here for 6 weeks now)
She was suspicious and asked me not to lie. (One of her complaints from last time was that I had lied to her to hide my relationship.) I did not lie this time and told her truthfully. And the whole thing started again.
She has been continuously yelling at me, and trying to make me guilty. She keeps saying that we brought you up for 21 years, and you will leave me for “this girl”. She keeps demeaning A and calling her names. She insists that she is a good judge of character and from her eyes she can make out that she is a liar. She has developed a sever aversion to A.
She now is making up stories to try and 1> get me to start hating A 2> turn my dad against A. (He is neutral ATM)
She keeps repeating the above incident over and over, but with added details like how A had been “audacious”. She says A had been commanding and dominant over her on the phone. My mom said A, at the end of the conversation said “I get what I want”. I know all this not to be true because A had recorded the call. I understand my mom is lying because she simply wants to break me up.
But my dad believes her, and I did not contradict her because she only gets hysterical if I try. She starts screaming and crying.
Since her strategy to get me to develop an aversion to A has failed, she now threatens to commit suicide if I ever marry A. Then she says things like “you have to choose her or me” and “you can’t live w/o her, so be with her, don’t come back to me”.
Today she called to say that I should look to move out of the house to a hostel because she wants me out of the house, unless I breakup. (A direct assault) She keeps trying to make me feel guilty, and trying to make me believe I have failed her.
She brings up 2 incidents – how her mom had warned her not to marry my dad, and how she regrets it today. And some neighbor who had defied his parents and developed schizophania after his wife cheated on him.
I am willing to breakup for my mom’s mental peace, but unless my heart knows a solid reason to give up a happy relationship, I know neither I nor A will truly be able to separate. Also it will hurt me a lot to do so. I tried asking friends who recommended hiding it from my mom. (I am very discrete about it anyway)
My mom refuses to go back to the counselor. She says if anyone is mad, it’s me. No one develops such a solid relationship at such an early age and it’s unnatural. And I should break up etc….
She says it wrong to have such feelings at such an early age.
About the relationship: My mom is jumping the gun a lot! We just want to take it a step at a time and let things progress naturally.
I could not express everything, and the mail has already become fairly long. Also, I’m typing this from the lab, and I have prying eyes around. I hope I could convey enough of a gist to allow you to advise me.
I am feeling very pessimistic and depressed and it’s affecting my work. Please help me.
I tried going to my institute’s counselor, but she is overbooked.September 14, 2012 at 8:36 am #15112
I am facing some problem with my brother, hes 22 yr old, not listening me n my mom, my father expired 6 yrs. back. Now a days, hes not listening anything, not going to work regularly, giving excuses.
Its very panic to me n mom, dont know exactly what to do, we only want him to do better for his future n career.
God knows whats in his mind to do, we have asked so many times, what he want to do exactly, but always ke kept quite.
Pls help us, awaiting ur reply asap.
PritiSeptember 14, 2012 at 6:29 pm #15114
My age is 23 years. I am the only daughter to my parents. My parents got divorced when I am in my mother’s womb. So, I didnt have effection to father(infact I hate him the most coz he is very cruel man who tortured my mom). I have been brought up at my grand parents home (with my mom). I was the topper in studies. And my grandparents especially grandfather pampered me a lot and I never felt that I couldn’t find father’s love. Infact I am very much attached towards my grandparents. In my Graduation, suddenly my grandparents expired due to Cardiac arrest. I just couldnt bear this. My grandparents who were with me always suddenly disappeared. I could not digest this. This had a lot of effect on me. During this time, I met a friend who helped me and also gave me so much effection. Some how I am finally in love with him. My mother did not accept him. I love him so much that I am not ready to miss him. And also I dont want my mother let go. Both are my eyes. I couldnt lose either of them. And with lot of struggle I am settled in MNC company. But even there to my fate, due to my manager , faced many problems(torture). After 1 nd half yr of my service in job I resigned to the company. And now I am nill. My mother’s health is going bad. And my lover also does not have job. Atitude wise he is very good. well cultured boy. only thing is he doesnt have a job. Now I could not do anythng. Totally helpless. I have taken lot of responsibilities of my family earlier. Now I am the only financial resource to my family and nw I am helpless. I just want to commit suicide to get rid of all these problems. But couldnt do it becoz I dont want let my mother go out of me. And dont my grand parents and my mothers hopes on me let go waste. what can I do. please help me.September 15, 2012 at 6:04 am #15115
Don’t think in a way that you are helpless for every reason one will be back of you to support you. either your mom or god, trust in yourself, believe in yourself, don’t loose confidence. For every situation there will be a solution in this world. Hope for the Future. The future will show You the best path for you. Be happy and face the situation with lots of smile.September 15, 2012 at 11:56 am #15116
I am an 18 year old guy. I have been diagnosed with “A mood disorder”. My psychologist and psychiatrist wont tell me exactly what it is but its not bipolar so… I would hazard a guess at MDD. I refused to take my meds. I lived on an alprax a day for some time and have now given it up (after 3-4 weeks)
I sometimes have episodes in which I feel everything is a dream and I can do anything I want without any consequences… I imagine myself indulging in violent behaviour.. And feel and urge to do the same. Only recently I felt the urge to beat up my room mate… And also to stab a teacher.. I regularly lose concentration over what is real and wander into other realms… I have not yet slipped into a depressive phase though and all this just serves to confuse me… Its as if there is a haze on the world and I am not really in it.
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