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Viewing 15 posts - 61 through 75 (of 81 total)
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  • #15111
    CpyderW
    Keymaster

    Hello Mam, Firstly I want to appreciate you for your quick responses and suitable answers to others’ problems. I noticed it as I read through the posts. You are doing a noble work by helping people Emotionally . Hats off to you.
    I am Rashmi, studying B.E, 7th sem ( Computer Science ) . Let me mention a little about myself: I have Successfully completed my 10th, 12th ; but since 2010, I am just struggling to maintain 60% aggregate in B.E . I used to study Well in 10th n 12th and scored 89% in each stage. With the support of my parents and because I did well till 12th , I have got whatever I wanted, like books, gadgets and everything that I wished. Life that time was just wonderful – because I was Studying Well that Time. I had an Aim to succeed then.
    But since 2009-10 , I see myself to be going off track in case of studies. Well I wanted to be Recognized in College for my leadership skills, so I work hard and now I am Coordinator for various college fests and Placement Activities. I enjoy doing Event Management . In this course of time, I gained good experience. But it reduced my study interest. Here is the Problem: since the 4th Semester , I have been neglecting my Subjects and just managed to Pass in all. I just find it difficult to concentrate on studies . My activites in college have disturbed my Aim . I like to do services for the college students , but I am no-where benefited. Now my Question is How Do I Study like I used to do In my 10th?? All books and materials are before me , but neglect to study , each day. What to do??
    For all Placementsso far, I have managed the process, All others( most of them are rattu-popat- mugging up books) got a job and I am left with nothing. I didn’t get placed yet. I now feel like doing good for people is meaningless these-days. I don’t understand where I am lacking. So Here, my second Query is What should I do after B.E?? Try for a Job? Or take a year break and Prepare for GATE exam and pursue M.Tech?
    One of the Worst problems I have is: Negative Thinking. These Days , all failures I am facing has made me to think negatively . I just feel I am Good for Nothing, anymore. My Parents , friends, Professors have all provided Solution to Study well. But Somewhere I am lazy to inculcate them. I listen to them one day. And later I end up doing Nothing. I just waste my time, even though I really don’t want to…
    I have great Aims and Purposes. I want to do well in life and make it worth living . But Its sad that I am unable to Channelise my Career.
    Please provide me a magical Solution such that I actually Should Work on it.

    Rashmi.
    Email ID: [email protected]

    #15168
    CpyderW
    Keymaster

    I wholeheartedly need your advice. I am describing the complete incident below.

    Just three months back, I met with a girl in train and both of us fall in love. Our affair was going smoothly. But, after day by day I found that she is bit psycho type and always threatened me by saying that she’ll try suicidal attempt if I don’t move according to her direction. Due to that, at present, I am suffering from severe depression and cant find any path except suicidal attempt to recover me from this nightmare. Please help me as early as possible. I am anxiously waiting for your reply.

    #15172
    CpyderW
    Keymaster

    Hi Prachi,
    My problem is related to love marriage. Me n my boyfriend are in a relationship since 3 years. But we both belong to different communities. Our parents are not ready for our marriage. We are trying to convince them since last 6 months but we got no positive response. We both are quite committed n wanna marry each other. How can we convince our parents. Please help us.

    #15177
    nilfa
    Participant

    Hey,
    I am Nilfa , studying in 9th standard . I am 14 years old . Till last month i was good at studies but from last month I am not able to concentrate ! How so ever hard I try i cannot understand my subjects . Nowadays my mind is always busy in stupid things like friends and social networking , even thought it doesn’t make me much happy . I am always kind of sad from inside . Only when i go to my dance classes i feel better.Sometimes i start crying in the night even I don’t know why . No one knows about all this . I always used to get (A+) or (A) grade in my studies . But this time I got (B) grade in most of my subjects. That’s such a shame . I feel like i m turning into a bad girl . Can u please suggest me something that will help me to concentrate on my studies again and have my normal life back ? I can’t tell all these to my parents because they have their business and a lot of tensions and I don’t want to give them more tension .

    #15178
    aditi
    Participant

    [/font}
    dear to who ever it may concern,
    I’ve heard talking about your problems is a good way out… so here goes d story..
    i’m a 16 year old..
    and i really like some guy who likes me back too.. we want to b together but we cant.. because wen my dad got to know about us.. he was furious.. and also hit me.. allot… and i was ORDERED to not keep in touch with him… but after d way my father treated me i couldn’t stay away from him as he was the only one who cared about me.. and we r still together.. because we cant b apart.. but everything seems so wrong.. i don’t trust my parents anymore i feel betrayed n even they don’t trust me anymore.. but i don’t want anything… i just want to be myself again.. and be happy… but my parents refuse to listen to me.. in fact if i bring that topic again.. i have to face my dad’s anger again.. and i cant do it anymore… so pleas tell me what to do…

    #15176
    rekka
    Participant

    Hi Prachi,

    Before describing my problem I’m giving you little bit background. We had love marriage one and half year back. Now my wife is pregnant. My wife family is joint family. She having mother,father and one brother ( age 33 same as mine). Along with her father’s brother(Uncle) and wife and two kids(one boy one girl) stay together. Mom is retired nurse and getting pension now. Her father, uncle and her brother no one is working. For living they do farming but it is not enough but they are managing. Sometimes my wife help them financially. Her uncle’s both kids are studying in class 5th (in Hostel). My wife and her mother’s support them financially for kids education.

    In my family I have retired father( no pension) mom and two sister( one elder sister and one younger sister). My both sisters are not married. For living they are working but earning is not enough so sometime I have to help them financially.

    Now me and my wife staying in Bangalore and all our family stays in Orissa hometown. I’m working as a software engineer and my wife is working as a teacher. My wife is pregnant now.

    Come to the conflict part: My wife loves her uncle’s kid. She enjoys their company. My wife’s uncle’s boy kid is not good at study. Usually he doesn’t like to stay in hostel and very fickle minded and specially he failed in math. My wife’s believe is that if we bring that boy kid to bangalore and keep with us. By influence of our parenting and love and care, he will excel. She is right here, kids parent’s are not good at parenting and they don’t care about kids education but somehow I’m not accepting it. I’m not ready for this. I don’t want to share my home, my baby and my wife with uncle’s kid. Now here my wife says that I’m selfish. Ya it sound like selfish but I just can’t stay with that kid. Reason is that kid is in not mine but my wife’s uncle’s kid.

    My problem is, am I really selfish here ?

    Now my wife is pregnant and I don’t want unnecessary problem and burden over this. I don’t want to fight over this. My wife says even if I’ll say no, she will go ahead with her own and she will bring that kid here for study. If I ask about our baby which is going to come. she says she can manage both and she can give time to all. I agree… But i’m not accepting this. Is it my problem. She look this as a act of charity and God serving. And here I’m kind of selfish.

    Please help me to resolve this conflict between me and my wife.

    #15188
    ilika280795
    Participant

    I met this guy a few months back and he is a really great guy.Cares a lot,loves me a lot and is ready to do everything for me.I mean I have seen it myself.But My family thinks its not right and he is not a good guy.But I have seen him since 5 months and I know he is.But my family has told me to stop all my contacts with him and never see him again,which is too hard for me as well as for him.What should I do?Please help :( :huh: :s :(

    #15200
    Shags Cool
    Participant

    The problem with me here is that i have never got good teachers in my school life neither in my college life. Every teacher i get just insults me and discourages me in whatever i do.i try to do the best possible by me but still every teacher discourages me by saying i cannot do anything and i am the worst student. However i score very good marks in the exams but still every teacher discourages me.i dint pay attention to all this my school life. But now it is irritating me and making me weak in my studies. Please help.

    #15201
    sadpuppet
    Participant

    I feel that my life is empty and meaningless. I have no job and i din’t get the chance to study what i wanted to. Instead i was forced into some other field. I am broke. I don’t have friends. I am heartbroken because the only person i like is far from me. As i have no friends i try and make friends online because where i live there aren’t many people. Besides that the people who are actually there are very judgemental. I feel alone and depressed. I don’t know what to do with my life anymore. It’s just a waste.

    #15194
    Akriti Chauhan
    Participant

    I am facing a very serious problem and need urgent counselling. Please help.
    We were good frnds in collg since 1.5 yrs and we have been dating since 1 month. Belong 2 same profession ,both r dentists.
    I am about to complete my internship in 2 months.
    He has just opened a clinic here,1 month ago,he’s not yet settled and has a stressful financial background.
    We have decided to marry each other, and are totally committed for each other.

    We get along very well, n hav a very good bonding.We have so much in common and an amazing relationship.I love him so much..
    Both of us had first decided to convince our parents for our marriage after my internship gets over. But my family is against it, due to his financial problem, non-settlement, and many other personal issues.

    But over the time I have started having trouble with him, due to his die-hard over possessiveness for me. He has started to pressurize me a lot, to get eloped and marry him right now. He fails to listen anything,and warns me that he will commit suicide ,and blackmails me if I don’t do accordingly.
    3 days back, without my consent, he forcibly took me to the Shani temple, there I was forced to give my consent for marriage and signatures on the marriage papers and certificate. I was devastated but had no choice but to follow what he said. All the rituals were carried out. I could do nothing. I begged him to at least listen to me once. Now that the ritualistic marriage procedure is over, he now wants to get the registration done immediately. Our advocate has got all the documents ready.registration is almost completed. my boyfriend has given me a notice of 2 days time, and is forcing me to sign the affidavit and court stamp papers. Once its done, our marriage would be declared legal and then I would be left with nothing to do. He has told me to leave my home and start living with him the moment our marriage gets registered.

    Ma’am I m in a very very panic situation. I cant do this..I have an elder sister,her marriage is fixed,it will be hamper her marriage and will also harm the reputation of our family in the society.
    He has also opened the matter in his family, who have warned him that they wont accept us in their home.
    Sir how can I handle him? I really really care for him a lot ,but I just want him to be settled and give me some time so that I can convince my parents, at least once we r done with my sisters marriage.It will hardly take 6 months more.What should I do? I love him sooo much and fear to lose him if I don’t do according to his wishes..


    Ma’m i had posted a query some half an hour back on this website..mam pls try to attend my post as soon as possible, as i need to take a decision immediately..within 2 days..I am left with no time to think

    #15191
    Akriti Chauhan
    Participant

    Hi Prachi mam, I have been waiting for your reply since long…PLEASE PLEASE help me, I need urgent counselling, pls view my post of 10/11/2012.I need to decide things soon as am very short of time….I m waiting for your reply ma’m please help..


    Mam I am facing a very serious problem. Please help.
    We were good frnds in collg since 2 yrs and we have been dating since 1 month. Belong 2 same profession of dentistry.
    I am about to complete my internship in 2 months.
    He has just opened a clinic here,1 month ago,he’s not yet settled and has a very weak financial background.
    We have decided to marry each other, and are totally committed for each other.
    We get along very well, n hav a very good bonding.We have so much in common and an amazing relationship.I love him so much..
    Both of us had first decided to convince our parents for our marriage after my internship gets over. But my family is against it, due to his financial problem, non-settlement, and many other personal issues.

    But over the time I have started having trouble with him, due to his die-hard over possessiveness for me. He has started to pressurize me a lot, to get eloped and marry him at the very moment. He fails to listen anything,and warns me that he will commit suicide ,and blackmails me if I don’t do accordingly.
    2 days back, without my consent, he forcibly took me to the Shani temple, there I was forced to give my consent for marriage and signatures on the marriage papers and certificate. I was devastated but had no choice but to follow what he said. All the rituals were carried out. I could do nothing. I begged him to at least listen to me once. Now that the ritualistic marriage procedure is over, he now wants to get the registration done immediately, and has given me a notice of 2 days time, and is forcing me to sign the affidavit and court stamp papers. Once its done, our marriage would be declared legal and then I would be left with nothing to do. He has told me to leave my home and start living with him the moment our marriage gets registered.
    Ma’am I m in a very very panic situation. I cant do this..I have an elder sister,her marriage is fixed,it will be hamper her marriage and will also harm the reputation of our family in the society.
    He has also opened the matter in his family, who have warned him that they wont accept us in their home.
    Sir how can I handle him? I really really care for him a lot ,but I just want him to be settled and give me some time so that I can convince my parents, at least once we r done with my sisters marriage.It will hardly take 6 months more.What should I do? I love him sooo much and fear to lose him if I don’t do what he says..

    #15197
    Prachi
    Moderator

    Dear Rashmi,
    Thank you for the appreciation of the work we are doing. We try our best to help out as many people as we can. We get thousands of queries per day and its very difficult for em to respond to each and every one of them. I do feel that even if I can help one person a day, it makes a difference and maybe that person in turn can help someone else.

    Coming to your problem, I was happy to know that instead of just burying yourself in books, you took initiative to get involved in extra curricular activities as well and enjoyed yourself. This does not necessarily mean that you have lost interest in studies. It just means that you enjoyed participating in them more. Maybe you are a peoples’ person? Maybe you’re made for an activity like that and not just an academic job? What do you think?

    Don’t get disheartened if you haven’t gotten placed yet. I know its hard when everyone you know seems to be moving ahead and despite you being fully deserving you seem to be stuck. But may be this is a chance for you to explore yourself. Just think, while all your batch mates would just move on to another routine life after one routine life, you may get an opportunity to try something different. I’m not the right person to advise you on your career path because I’m not from that field, but yes, the idea of taking a break for a year sounds good to me. You can prepare for GATE and also use that time to explore new work possibilities. You’re going to be a B.E. in Computer Science; maybe there is a way that you can combine your education and your passion for working with people? I’m sure there is a way. Think about it. And remember, no good deed is in vain. You do get rewarded for it some time, its karma.

    I hope that you’ll get your faith in yourself back and would come through your B.E. with flying colors!!

    All the best!

    #15206
    alfalfa
    Participant

    Dear Prachiji,
    First of all, I would like to thank you for providing such a service and with anonymity. Your effort is truly appreciated.

    I will state my problem as best as I can:
    I am a 34 y.o single male working in IT. My issue is that I seem incapable of having normal communication from my side with the ladies. The best I can do is reply to their queries! I am not sure why.
    This is causing me major problems in terms of relationships. I have never been in a relationship because even when girls show interest in me, I am unable to respond positively, let alone show initiative from my side.

    I do not seem to have any other personality deficits. I think I am intelligent, fairly good looking and with a good sense of humor. I might be lacking a bit in self-confidence though from time to time, but mostly in this matter that I am sharing.
    Also, though I am trying to get married by arranged marriage, I have not been lucky yet. So it has been zilch on the relationships side.

    This is an issue for me because I am now more often than not feeling absolutely lonely and maybe even depressed. I have contemplated suicide numerous times, but I have decided to hang on for the sake of my parents as of now. My family are not too emotionally responsive and do not seem to perceive my emotional needs as a human being. I don’t think one can change that though.
    Though I do take a vacation for a change of air from time to time to keep my mind occupied, I need some permanent solution to help me enter into a happy relationship.
    Any help from your side would be appreciated.
    Thanks again.

    #15207
    alfalfa
    Participant

    Dear Prachiji,
    First of all, I would like to thank you for providing such a service and with anonymity. Your effort is truly appreciated.

    I will state my problem as best as I can:
    I am a 34 y.o single male working in IT. My issue is that I seem incapable of having normal communication from my side with the ladies. The best I can do is reply to their queries! I am not sure why.
    This is causing me major problems in terms of relationships. I have never been in a relationship because even when girls show interest in me, I am unable to respond positively, let alone show initiative from my side.

    I do not seem to have any other personality deficits. I think I am intelligent, fairly good looking and with a good sense of humor. I might be lacking a bit in self-confidence though from time to time, but mostly in this matter that I am sharing.
    Also, though I am trying to get married by arranged marriage, I have not been lucky yet. So it has been zilch on the relationships side.

    This is an issue for me because I am now feeling absolutely lonely and maybe even depressed. I have contemplated suicide numerous times, but I have decided to hang on for the sake of my parents as of now. My family is not too emotionally responsive or supportive and do not seem to perceive my emotional needs as a human being. (I don’t think one can change that.)
    Though I do take a vacation for a change of air from time to time to keep my mind occupied, I need some permanent solution to help me enter into a happy relationship.
    Any help from your side would be appreciated. Let me know if you need any other details from my side.

    Thanks again.



    Akriti Chauhan wrote:
    I am facing a very serious problem and need urgent counselling. Please help.
    We were good frnds in collg since 1.5 yrs and we have been dating since 1 month. Belong 2 same profession ,both r dentists.
    I am about to complete my internship in 2 months.
    He has just opened a clinic here,1 month ago,he’s not yet settled and has a stressful financial background.
    We have decided to marry each other, and are totally committed for each other.

    We get along very well, n hav a very good bonding.We have so much in common and an amazing relationship.I love him so much..
    Both of us had first decided to convince our parents for our marriage after my internship gets over. But my family is against it, due to his financial problem, non-settlement, and many other personal issues.

    But over the time I have started having trouble with him, due to his die-hard over possessiveness for me. He has started to pressurize me a lot, to get eloped and marry him right now. He fails to listen anything,and warns me that he will commit suicide ,and blackmails me if I don’t do accordingly.
    3 days back, without my consent, he forcibly took me to the Shani temple, there I was forced to give my consent for marriage and signatures on the marriage papers and certificate. I was devastated but had no choice but to follow what he said. All the rituals were carried out. I could do nothing. I begged him to at least listen to me once. Now that the ritualistic marriage procedure is over, he now wants to get the registration done immediately. Our advocate has got all the documents ready.registration is almost completed. my boyfriend has given me a notice of 2 days time, and is forcing me to sign the affidavit and court stamp papers. Once its done, our marriage would be declared legal and then I would be left with nothing to do. He has told me to leave my home and start living with him the moment our marriage gets registered.

    Ma’am I m in a very very panic situation. I cant do this..I have an elder sister,her marriage is fixed,it will be hamper her marriage and will also harm the reputation of our family in the society.
    He has also opened the matter in his family, who have warned him that they wont accept us in their home.
    Sir how can I handle him? I really really care for him a lot ,but I just want him to be settled and give me some time so that I can convince my parents, at least once we r done with my sisters marriage.It will hardly take 6 months more.What should I do? I love him sooo much and fear to lose him if I don’t do according to his wishes..


    Ma’m i had posted a query some half an hour back on this website..mam pls try to attend my post as soon as possible, as i need to take a decision immediately..within 2 days..I am left with no time to think

    Akriti,
    Sorry to know about your condition.
    I personally feel you need to take some more time to resolve this matter between the two of you. You are both committed to each other…so why is your bf rushing to get married…?

    If you really feel that he is as possessive about you, then I think he will not leave you, EVER!
    Of course, he can blackmail you for you agree to the marriage by saying he will leave you. But if he truly loves you, he won’t.

    Both parties need to feel equally comfortable about getting married. There is absolutely no need to rush in these matters.
    DO NOT SIGN ANY PAPERS, OFFICIAL OR OTHERWISE UNTIL YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY READY.

    #15218
    Pratiksha
    Participant

    Sir/Madam,
    Name – Pratiksha (not real name)
    Email – [email protected]
    Age – 20
    Gender – female
    Profession – Student
    Duration of problem – 3 months and 1 day

    Brief description of problem:
    I’m not able to live. I’m not eating, sleeping or studying. I’ve been trying to improve but touching books or food or sleeping feels useless. Like my future is absolutely useless. I want to do good but I’m able to find a reason to do good. People tell me to live for myself, for my parents (I have no friends). But myself feels so lonely. And living for parents is what I’m trying. But I can see they don’t need me to live.
    I’m told I’m anti-social. People in general dislike me. That might be because I don’t talk very much and when I do it’s rude truth which nobody likes.
    I read novels, watch movies and day dream to pass time. I like living in fantasies, which was not so chronic 3 months ago.
    I have trust issues. I don’t trust anyone. Not relatives or parents, not even myself. I don’t do anything without reason and sometimes can’t do even some reasonable things.
    I used to be a very good, popular student in school. Things have been going downhill since after school i.e. past 2 years and 8 months.
    I have attempted suicide many times. I don’t like to keep a count on the number of times. I find it disgusting and selfish. I have refrained from attempting so again by telling myself that God would put me in prison.
    However, my self-harming tendencies continue. I like feeling pain. It reminds me that I’m alive.
    I’ve never been asked out or proposed to. I asked out one boy so, I had one boyfriend for 2 years and he broke up with me for many reasons – I get very rude and dangerous when angry, I’m very possessive, I have very abnormal thoughts on life, I don’t do any make up (not even brushing my hairs), etc.
    I still write to my ex-boyfriend obsessively but I don’t love him anymore. I write to him because I’m scared to open up to anyone else.
    My physical outlook is average. My study skills, singing or dancing skills, drawing skills, playing instrument skills, sport skills are all average. I have allergic rhinitis, so I have a handkerchief under my nose throughout the year. Most people find it disgusting.
    I want to do well in life but I don’t know how. “Please help me to concentrate on my books.” Rest I can take care of.
    Thanking you in anticipation.
    Pratiksha.

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