April 17, 2014 at 5:32 pm #13672unknown123Participant
I am in love with my boyfriend for 6 years now(first BF), and it all started in office. We were friend and very good friends. 6 of us stayed in the same building & shared the kitchen for food. meaning we where together for 24/7.
I knew he already had a girlfriend from college. I did speak to her once. But eventual our friendship became love.. There is no day /time that i can tell we fell in love. It just happened.
I was confused if to continue or leave… then one day it just came out of his mouth (heart.. I know it coz i could feel it was true) that he wished I had come in his life a year before (when he met is first girl friend), he would have been the happiness & would have taken me straight to his parents for marriage. Those words stopped me to think of leaving. I though one day he will realize what he has said & will leave that girl & come to me forever.
But in between the 1st girl came to know about us & started creating issue & started to force him to leave me. He didnt. She some times threaten, some times cried and begged him to stay. He didnt have the courage to leave her mid way and also didnt want to leave me.
I kept waiting things will change. After some time he said she is not in touch with him & things are normal (even i pushed him to leave her). I believed it and went to next step. Told my parents & convinced them to marry me to him. He also spoke to his parents about me thinking the first one will go off though she was in touch with him.
All of a sudden, I came to know she was in touch with him all dis while & she forced him (convinced him… telling he is responsible for her condition etc) and got a marriage certificate from the registar which he did sign as he was worried & cared for her(he is her 5th BF & all others had rejected her & she claims to be suicidal..which scares my BF alot) He did it with /without thinking of the results.
Now she says she has told her parents about it also.
My boy friend wants to be with me but doesnt know how to get out of the problem he has created. on the other hand my parents dont know this development and wants me to get married at earliest. It has been told to all family & relation that I am in relationship with my boyfriend.
he is not ready or is too weak to tell her to go away in a stern manner (he has told her to go away in nice ways.. talking etc.. but she doesnt want to take it.. she has her own reasons). He is asking me to leave him and move on in life instead of waiting for things to change as that female will not let him go. He is tired of convincing.. and doesnt see any other way to solve it.
I have no idea how to change this or get over this.. I had been in the full image of getting married to him & settling down. All of a sudden my world has gone upside down. I dont know how to solve this problem.. I dont feel confident to marry anyone else.. nor do i have time to let myself settle down & give time & then decided. I have to take a decision & my heart doesnt accept that I let him go when I know he wants to be with me & search for love in someone i will have to marry (who i will not even know-arranged marriage). Some times i feel like dying, some times i want to fight and get him back.. some times i want to run away from all i know and stay alone.. i want to completely change my identity.. I really dont know wat to do.. Should I also get married to him (with my parents & may be his parents).. and tell dat female to go to hell..?? but my BF feels it only complicate things & get worse.. our parents will be shattered we they come to know dat we brought things to this level..
I know I should have taken charge long back & made things clear.. but I left it to him.. as i thought he was to right person to take the call..
I am suppose to be punished like this..?? I am going mad… I dont feel like eating… i dont get sleep.. i dont feel like doing any thing at all..
Pl help me.. What is right? What if i cant accept anyone else.. as i am sure i will be comparing the new guy with my BF & eventually end up in more trouble… is it not to cheat if i get married to anyone else without telling that person the truth.. what if he comes to know?? Am i not spoiling another person’s life (and his family)… pl suggest a way out.. given the first chance I will want my BF back.. How can i do it? But he is not strong also…
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