If you have just landed here and haven’t read Part 1 of her story, click here
So, two people came into my life one after the other.
First was H****, my dad’s client and also a person my father has high regards for. His dad used to treat my dad like his son, so obviously he was like my uncle and they were quiet close to our family. I was in class 8 going to class 9 when my Bapuji passed away in March. I was lost for quite a while after that, emotionally. We would meet this guy regularly at family functions, mostly theirs. Now all of these people knew about how my dad would treat my mum and everything. This guy and his cousin, who was my dad’s best friend, would try to broker peace between my parents. In fact they had also told my mom that every time my dad started a fight she should call them and keep the phone on so they could listen in and they would come and sort it out. They did it for a few times too. Then at the same time he would get things for my brother and me and also take us shopping. I hated his cousin because he always had that mocking look on his face, as if he was getting entertained by the way my father treated us and he loved to see me wince in the collateral damage. My father even encouraged us to go shopping with H**** because (1) he thought he would buy us better stuff and (2) my dad was scoring brownie points by letting us have those things.
Then one day while we were at his office he slid his hand in my shirt and was rubbing his fingers over my lips. I found it quite funny but didn’t understand what was happening. Also maybe by then I had lost any sense of good touch bad touch. I didn’t like what was happening though and couldn’t understand why he was behaving so oddly. So I stopped going with him. Then he would come home and take us out and behaved normally. So I thought maybe I was wrong. Then one day he came near my building in his car and called me outside. I was sent. He made me sit with him in the car. He had got some chocolates for me. Then he asked me about studies etc. and then again he slipped his hand in my shirt.
I didn’t wear a bra by then, because I was still flat chested. He told me I should wear one and then kissed me on the mouth. I had this disgust run down my spine, I froze. Then he let me out of the car and I went home. I was not myself. My mom figured something was wrong. The moment I reached inside he called and asked my mom to give me the phone. She was on the parallel line. He told me to ensure that no one hears him and that no one hears us talk from the next time he would call. I was sobbing after that. But thankfully my mum had heard it all. She tried to ask me but I couldn’t answer.
From then on, every time he called, which was often, my mum would give him excuses for me not being there or something. So then one day he came home, and I was right there. I froze in terror. There was a guest at home and I hid behind him and began to sob. My mum came out and then I immediately hid behind her still crying. He behaved in an innocent manner and asked why I was crying, to which my mum replied ‘she’s still very young’. Even after that he kept on pursuing. I think my mom told my father to ask him to not call but to no avail. The fights at home increased and his cousin would regularly come to mock me when I was shivering in anger and helplessness. Then during one of the fights when one of my dad’s building friend was present my mom told him again about this, and then a bit later my father’s friend said ‘they are our bosses, and we have to do what they say’. I think it didn’t register with my parents but I was outraged and humiliated and violated!!! This fellow still tried to meet me for about more than a year after this incident and continued to influence my father’s decisions about my life.
Around the same time my current partner entered my life. He was actually an acquaintance of my mom who became a friend of hers and then we got close.
My partner had slowly become the only hurdle in H**** and his cousin getting to me, because slowly but surely he was becoming my safety net and once he came to know about H****’s actions and intentions and my father’s inaction about it, he (1) gave me that solace that I am not alone in this and (2) ensured H**** got the message that I am not alone. That stopped him from harassing me directly but he still has a very strong hold on my father till today.
My dad slowly understood that he was being used by H**** in multiple ways and he was betrayed by him at work also. So he has pulled away from him a little bit but I still need to drill sense in my father from time to time. But H**** has still not let things go. He holds an important social standing in the society we are in so still whenever possible he tries influencing those whom he can, to try and misbehave with me.
You might think that may be here I’m being paranoid but how I know this for sure is this incident that I’m going to tell you now. There is this doctor who is sort of their family doctor. We had gone to him about 7-8 years ago for my dad’s varicose veins and he treated him well. We also began going to him for our health issues. He was perfectly well behaved for about 2 years. Then he went on a trip with H**** for a few days. And then his behaviour changed. I could see him look at me lecherously. At first I thought I was imagining things. But then he started bringing up H**** very frequently in his conversations. And then one day in front of my uncle he playfully pecked my cheek while holding my hand in a tight grip to which I resisted and laughingly told him not to do this again. In a few days, I was again at his clinic with high temperature and he was to take my temperature. In that pretext, he touched me inappropriately on my chest while placing and removing the thermometer. My mum was on the phone I think, and I thought I was hallucinating because of fever. Then when he had to take my blood pressure, he again slid his hand under my sheet and my mom yelled from behind asking me to give him my hand.
Later, she told my brother that the doctor tried to touch me inappropriately so I figured I was not hallucinating after all. It’s not like I had not gone to his clinic for the first time in such a situation. He had administered saline to me earlier also and at that time I was alone and nothing weird happened. So I did put 1+1 together. Things had changed after his trip with H****. My brother and father still go to him regularly, can you imagine?
In the next and final part she talks about her last abuser after which things stopped but her inner turmoil didn’t…Stay tuned…
Image courtesy of Sira Anamwong at FreeDigitalPhotos.net