Can I Trust You?

Shivangi Talwar, a Psychology student, shares her thoughts on infidelity and getting over a broken relationship

“I trust him.”

“She’s the love of my life.”

“I will always love you”

A relationship begins with liking which gradually develops into love (for some, its love at first sight!). There is a first date followed by hours spent on the phone and many more sleepless nights. And one day, you realise that the love of your life has been cheating on you. At that point of time, those colourful bubbles burst and you’re left with memories.

Infidelity, being disloyal or unfaithful, is one of the most common issues of a relationship. It can have a devastating effect on not just the person being cheated on but the cheater as well. It has an underlying cause which drives a person to cheat. It can be sex addiction, attention seeking tendencies, low self esteem, need for affiliation or escapism.

The person who is the victim of infidelity may not believe, at first, that he/she was being cheated on. When he/she comes to face the reality, he/she may punish the cheater and may talk to his/her friends or may close himself/herself up completely. Trust issues may creep in all the relationships. It may affect his/her level of confidence and self esteem. They may feel lost and lonely as if their life is over.

The person who’s straying from the relationship (cheater) may not be aware of the effects it might incur on the other person. He/she may to do it the moment and later suffer from the spoilt relationship. The cheater is shown the mirror after such an act and he/she may be severely affected. He/she may pretend to be happy basking in the newly earned popularity or may start denying that he/she was at fault or just close himself/herself up and punish himself/herself for betraying the partner.

The recovery from a strenuous relationship may or may not be a long journey, sometimes even lasting a lifetime. For those who have cheated in a relationship, it’s important to remember your partner deserves to move on if the relationship does not work out even after several efforts. Also, try and understand your weaknesses so that such an act does not reoccur.

For the victims of infidelity, it’s important to keep in mind that rationalizing your partner’s act would not help you. Also, being cheated does not mean that you’re not good enough. You should not hesitate in trusting another person and forming new bonds.

Remember-Time is the best healer only if make the most of it.


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