I know he has found someone else!” “He is lying to me these days.” He must be roaming around with that woman!” Is that what you think of your partner these days? These doubts mark the beginning of the impairment of a loving relationship.
Dipti was undergoing this difficult phase of her life where she was losing her trust on her partner. All such thoughts plagued her. So what if her husband was coming late from work, if he had female friends, if he was seen talking to a woman? Are these valid reasons for her to suspect Rupesh?
Once things come to this, there are some consequences which turn up more often than not. Let’s take a look at a few outcomes that may surface, intentionally or unintentionally, in Dipti and Rupesh’s relationship:
Loss of trust.
Dipti starts losing trust on her partner/husband once she starts looking at him with suspicion.
Later start irrational assumptions. “He is coming late from work? That must mean he’s going out with someone on a clandestine date.” “I saw him talking to a female; she must be his new girlfriend.”
Nothing is ignored.
Dipti starts observing trivial things/changes in Rupesh which she had never taken notice of or not ever bothered about. She starts noticing if he’s got a new hair style, what clothes he’s wearing, what perfume he uses etc.
Dipti is tempted to check his wallet for some suspicious number or somebody’s address. If God forbid, she finds one with a woman’s name on it, there goes her peace of mind and she starts searching for clues which don’t exist! It does not stop at the wallet. Gradually, his laptop, telephone diary, office diary , calendar are all a target.
The phone patrol.
There was a time when Rupesh’s phone rang, Dipti gave it to him, saying ‘it’s for you.’ Now if it rings she tries to receive the call just to hear the voice on the other end – is it a man or a woman? In the middle of the night, when her partner is fast asleep, she checks his mobile messages, calls etc.
Communication gap widens.
With all the above getting piled up in her mind, automatically she stops communicating with him. She ignores Rupesh’s efforts for communication as well.
Such a situation can be very detrimental for anyone and needs to be tackled before the relationship comes to an end. How? It’s not an easy task but there are some simple tips you can follow to stay calm and not let the doubt-monster raise its head in your bond.
Don’t ignore the obvious.
You can see he is working hard and is coming late from the work just for a happy and comfortable life for both of you and the family. There is no need to stress about it unnecessarily, unless it seriously starts to affect you as a couple.
Even If you are in doubt, avoid losing your temper and don’t get into unnecessary arguments with him. Try to put any queries you might have, in a non-accusing tone and in all probability, you’ll get an innocent response.
Keep the communication doors open.
Give him a chance to explain and clarify things to you. Keep the communication on from your side and listen to his part as well. Don’t put it off till its irreparable.
Don’t encourage & justify your doubts.
Avoid justifying your doubts by looking for something or the other from his appointment diary, mobile, purse etc. remember, the human mind is a very clever thing. We only see what we want to see when we are in a heightened state of emotion.
Dipti and Rupesh didn’t get the right advice and their relationship couldn’t survive the storm of suspicion. Are you going to get up and take notice in time? Maybe you can save yours!
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